# Men's Hair Loss > Coping with Hair Loss in Everyday Life >  Perspective from a forty something on hair loss.

## spitfire

Just wanted to offer my real world experience.

Suffer from mpb. Started thinning when I was 19/20. By 21 there was no hiding it. I met a beautiful lady that year. We fell in love, got married five years later and have been together since. Had I not met her, I'm positive I would have had a great dating/sex life in my 20's and 30's. There were numbers of times in my 20's and 30's that women would come up to me in bars and offer to by me drinks. I even had an offer once from two women (talk about an ego boost!) Of course I never took any of them up on it because I was in a monogamous relationship. I am not "hot" in the traditional sense. I'm 5'10, on the thinner side but with a slim muscular build. I am fun and outgoing regardless of hair loss. In fact, I never got too depressed over it. It sucked, yeah, but it didn't stop my life. I still get insecure sometimes. I think that has more to do with the inevitable fact that I'm not "young" anymore, which is something all men face. Would I look better with hair? No doubt about it. Would I have attracted more women in my youth with hair? No doubt whatsoever. Do I attract women in their twenties now? Honestly, I don't think so. But none of that matters. The woman I've been with for 23 years has always accepted me for me, the man she fell in love with. We have been 100% faithful to each other all these years, have a family, and the passion we have for each other grows more each day. Our sex is incredible - and that's important for sure, but more importantly she loves me unconditionally, regardless of the amount of hair on my head.

Believe me guys, when I say I know all about the insecurities of being bald. My best advice, eat right, take care of yourself, exercise, keep a close haircut, and most importantly, try and build some self confidence. Try hair restoration if you want. I just never wanted to put that much time and energy into something that would prolong the inevitable. Let's face it, being bald, you may not be able to turn heads right away anymore, or maybe you do, but I've found once women get to know you, through interactions at work or social groups, etc. they start looking past physical traits and accept you for who you are. I'm bald, but I have real conversations with people, I can make women laugh, they compliment me on occasion, and we can have fun. That makes me feel good about myself. Stay strong in the struggle and good luck.

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## k9gatton

That's good that you're married/with someone and have a great sex life.

My head is very strange shaped. Short hair makes it much worse. Are you in your forties?

That's where I am. It sucks it being old. And my partner isn't sexually attracted to me when
I have short hair. No question about that. 

If my women left me, I would go to the gym. But I would definitely get a transplant, and stay
on hair medication, because of bumps that show on my head. 

Had buzz cuts before. But it looks strange with anything shorter than an inch/2.5 centimeters.

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## spitfire

Yep. In my forties. I don't think it sucks being older. I have a pretty good life because of my experiences. I'm in better shape than I've ever been. I will say, I'm motivated to stay in shape, partly to help me feel better about myself. I can't control my baldness, but there are other things I can control, and that keeps me motivated. Taking care of your teeth, staying clean from drugs and alcohol, taking care of your body and mind. All that helps believes it or not. also, my head is not bad. No bumps or moles/birthmarks. No scars either. Actually looking forward to greying. Hoping it makes me look more distinguished.

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## spitfire

Also, meditation, sun gazing, no fap. Believe that.

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## pkipling

Dude. Thank you for this. Even though I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a hair transplant, I do know that everything you're saying is true. So many of our struggles and shortcomings in life can be transformed and reimagined into something not so crippling if we just have the right attitude and perspective - both things that we have complete control over.  

Thank you for your words and your wisdom. I really hope many of the young hair loss sufferers who think their lives are over see this and gain a new perspective. There is always another way to live if we only choose to be open to its possibility. 

__________________
_I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff._

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## JeanlucBergman

> Dude. Thank you for this. Even though I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a hair transplant, I do know that everything you're saying is true. So many of our struggles and shortcomings in life can be transformed and reimagined into something not so crippling if we just have the right attitude and perspective - both things that we have complete control over.  
> 
> Thank you for your words and your wisdom. I really hope many of the young hair loss sufferers who think their lives are over see this and gain a new perspective. There is always another way to live if we only choose to be open to its possibility. 
> 
> __________________
> _I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff._


 So sick of hearing that kind of filth from someone with a hair transplant.

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## JeanlucBergman

> Just wanted to offer my real world experience.
> 
> Suffer from mpb. Started thinning when I was 19/20. By 21 there was no hiding it. I met a beautiful lady that year. We fell in love, got married five years later and have been together since. Had I not met her, I'm positive I would have had a great dating/sex life in my 20's and 30's. There were numbers of times in my 20's and 30's that women would come up to me in bars and offer to by me drinks. I even had an offer once from two women (talk about an ego boost!) Of course I never took any of them up on it because I was in a monogamous relationship. I am not "hot" in the traditional sense. I'm 5'10, on the thinner side but with a slim muscular build. I am fun and outgoing regardless of hair loss. In fact, I never got too depressed over it. It sucked, yeah, but it didn't stop my life. I still get insecure sometimes. I think that has more to do with the inevitable fact that I'm not "young" anymore, which is something all men face. Would I look better with hair? No doubt about it. Would I have attracted more women in my youth with hair? No doubt whatsoever. Do I attract women in their twenties now? Honestly, I don't think so. But none of that matters. The woman I've been with for 23 years has always accepted me for me, the man she fell in love with. We have been 100% faithful to each other all these years, have a family, and the passion we have for each other grows more each day. Our sex is incredible - and that's important for sure, but more importantly she loves me unconditionally, regardless of the amount of hair on my head.
> 
> Believe me guys, when I say I know all about the insecurities of being bald. My best advice, eat right, take care of yourself, exercise, keep a close haircut, and most importantly, try and build some self confidence. Try hair restoration if you want. I just never wanted to put that much time and energy into something that would prolong the inevitable. Let's face it, being bald, you may not be able to turn heads right away anymore, or maybe you do, but I've found once women get to know you, through interactions at work or social groups, etc. they start looking past physical traits and accept you for who you are. I'm bald, but I have real conversations with people, I can make women laugh, they compliment me on occasion, and we can have fun. That makes me feel good about myself. Stay strong in the struggle and good luck.


 Such a disgusting post. Do you have pictures, or are you just another liar wanting more people to stay bald? The women interested in bald guys are ugly, have bad jobs or are just plain stupid. You've accepted mediocrity, that is all your post is about. You probably think Harry Potter is the pinnacle of western culture, I doubt for one second you'd have a decent job or the ability to have a legitimately intellectual conversation.

Your "fun" with 3/10s is mediocrity. What you did was settle for second best. There's nothing inspiring about what you said, you've just accepted a shitty life.

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## pkipling

> So sick of hearing that kind of filth from someone with a hair transplant.


 First off, I have nothing but compassion for guys suffering from MPB who aren't candidates for HTs and/or don't respond well to meds. It sucks, and I'm grateful every single day that I was able to get a hair transplant. But if I hadn't, I assure you I would've found a way to not let it defeat me - just like I've done with other struggles and challenges life has thrown my way. 

And yes, I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a HT, but that doesn't disqualify me or any other HT recipients from trying to encourage those without a current solution from possibly seeking an alternative perspective. The advice Spitfire gave in this post doesn't just apply to MPB; it applies to any area of our lives that cause us pain and suffering: breakups, divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a job, or just having a crappy day. Sometimes life isn't what we want it to be and things get thrown our way that we don't like. That happens to every single person that walks this earth, and none of us can escape it. Nobody is saying we should roll over when life gets rough. Fight if you want. Look for solutions. Try to change the situation. But sometimes, there's nothing you can do to change things. Sometimes, life is what it is. People get cancer, and they deal with it. People get MS, and they deal with it. A man's wife walks out on him, and he deals with it. People lose their hair, and they deal with it.

It's interesting to me that you seem to think that people who suffer from MPB are the only ones who suffer, and that if you have hair, your life is perfect. You don't know what goes on in my life or Spitfire's or anyone else's. The principles he talked about in his post are principles that I apply to my life on a daily basis when things get rough. You also seem to think that because I had one successful hair transplant that I'm out of the woods. _I'm not._ I don't respond well to Propecia and recently stopped taking it. I'm concerned about my crown. What if I got a HT too young? What if my hairline is too low? What if I need a second, third, or fourth hair transplant? What if I run out of grafts? Stop believing that you're the only one who gets dealt blows by life. Every single person on this forum has stuff happen to them that could turn them into an angry, bitter person... But the point of life is trying to figure out how to live a happy life in spite of these things. 

From where you sit, I may have it a lot better than you. But believe it or not, in spite of my hair, my life isn't perfect. But every day I have a choice to focus on what's _not_ working in my life or focus on what _is_. If you don't want to listen to any other points of view on how to handle MPB when it's clear that you're stuck with it, then don't. But there is another way to live if you want to. You don't have to be bald and miserable, and that's all Spitfire was pointing out. 

And lastly, what you said about Spitfire accepting a "shitty life" is rude, disrespectful, and completely out of line. This forum needs to be a place where people can discuss all different ways of handling MPB. This is how _he_ coped with it, and from where I sit, it seems like a much better approach than the one you're choosing. If you want to be negative and feel like your life is over, go for it. But don't knock others who find a way out of their misery. 
__________________
_I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff._

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## Rizaan

pkipling, what made you a good HT canndidate? You say finesteride doesn't 'work' for you, and if you have ALA, won't you lose the rest of your hair gradually?

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## JeanlucBergman

> First off, I have nothing but compassion for guys suffering from MPB who aren't candidates for HTs and/or don't respond well to meds. It sucks, and I'm grateful every single day that I was able to get a hair transplant. But if I hadn't, I assure you I would've found a way to not let it defeat me - just like I've done with other struggles and challenges life has thrown my way. 
> 
> And yes, I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a HT, but that doesn't disqualify me or any other HT recipients from trying to encourage those without a current solution from possibly seeking an alternative perspective. The advice Spitfire gave in this post doesn't just apply to MPB; it applies to any area of our lives that cause us pain and suffering: breakups, divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a job, or just having a crappy day. Sometimes life isn't what we want it to be and things get thrown our way that we don't like. That happens to every single person that walks this earth, and none of us can escape it. Nobody is saying we should roll over when life gets rough. Fight if you want. Look for solutions. Try to change the situation. But sometimes, there's nothing you can do to change things. Sometimes, life is what it is. People get cancer, and they deal with it. People get MS, and they deal with it. A man's wife walks out on him, and he deals with it. People lose their hair, and they deal with it.
> 
> It's interesting to me that you seem to think that people who suffer from MPB are the only ones who suffer, and that if you have hair, your life is perfect. You don't know what goes on in my life or Spitfire's or anyone else's. The principles he talked about in his post are principles that I apply to my life on a daily basis when things get rough. You also seem to think that because I had one successful hair transplant that I'm out of the woods. _I'm not._ I don't respond well to Propecia and recently stopped taking it. I'm concerned about my crown. What if I got a HT too young? What if my hairline is too low? What if I need a second, third, or fourth hair transplant? What if I run out of grafts? Stop believing that you're the only one who gets dealt blows by life. Every single person on this forum has stuff happen to them that could turn them into an angry, bitter person... But the point of life is trying to figure out how to live a happy life in spite of these things. 
> 
> From where you sit, I may have it a lot better than you. But believe it or not, in spite of my hair, my life isn't perfect. But every day I have a choice to focus on what's _not_ working in my life or focus on what _is_. If you don't want to listen to any other points of view on how to handle MPB when it's clear that you're stuck with it, then don't. But there is another way to live if you want to. You don't have to be bald and miserable, and that's all Spitfire was pointing out. 
> 
> And lastly, what you said about Spitfire accepting a "shitty life" is rude, disrespectful, and completely out of line. This forum needs to be a place where people can discuss all different ways of handling MPB. This is how _he_ coped with it, and from where I sit, it seems like a much better approach than the one you're choosing. If you want to be negative and feel like your life is over, go for it. But don't knock others who find a way out of their misery. 
> ...


 "It's interesting to me that you seem to think that people who suffer from MPB are the only ones who suffer, and that if you have hair, your life is perfect. You don't know what goes on in my life or Spitfire's or anyone else's. The principles he talked about in his post are principles that I apply to my life on a daily basis when things get rough. You also seem to think that because I had one successful hair transplant that I'm out of the woods. I'm not. I don't respond well to Propecia and recently stopped taking it. I'm concerned about my crown. What if I got a HT too young? What if my hairline is too low? What if I need a second, third, or fourth hair transplant? What if I run out of grafts? Stop believing that you're the only one who gets dealt blows by life. Every single person on this forum has stuff happen to them that could turn them into an angry, bitter person... But the point of life is trying to figure out how to live a happy life in spite of these things. "

My point in particular is that those with hairloss should fight against it and go the transplant route. I'm a 22 year old norwood 3 diffusing in a 5a pattern, and despite having sex with 10 girls a year, having a 70k salary at a proper finance job my age and 60k in savings, EVERYTHING becomes corrupted and sickening when you have baldness. There are ****ing homeless men with better hair than me, and every day I FEEL like a homeless man because of my hair. I finally put the deposit down for a transplant I had the money for for 3 years with Koray Erdogan, and FINALLY I feel satisfied with life. I'd tried long enough with your stupid, ignorant idea of acceptance (despite the fact that you have a transplant, so did the opposite) And lmfao about "is my hairline too low?" What a STUPID thing to say. I've NEVER seen anyone with a transplanted hairline that is "too low" and I've seen THOUSANDS. If you need a second, third or fourth transplant, who CARES? At least you experienced your youth with hair. You can always mix the crown and midsection with beard and body hairs or use toppik, the most important aspect is the hairline.

And yes, bald men with shitty jobs in their 40s on lower salaries than me who never experienced sleeping with 18 year olds consistently did settle for mediocrity. Without hair, you are inevitably a lesser human, and people are genetically wired to see you as genetically inferior to others. It is instinctual and seen as a sign of poor health that will affect your attractiveness, and also your job prospects. Bald people statistically have lower salaries. You are the one suggesting my point about MPB is invalid, and you do so with a full head of hair because you have a transplant. You're the one trying to attack free speech because of this RIDICULOUS post without any photos basically telling people to accept a genetic defect. That isn't helping people to become a stronger person, it's telling them to accept their present state of failure, mediocrity and genetic inferiority.

"You don't have to be bald and miserable, and that's all Spitfire was pointing out. "

You don't, but until you get a transplant and get on treatments, you will be inferior and not be reaching your potential. To accept less than your potential is to accept mediocrity, and that is the truth. Being a 20 year old who can't have sex with anyone younger than 30 is a failure, and NO ONE would be happy about that.

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## pkipling

> pkipling, what made you a good HT canndidate? You say finesteride doesn't 'work' for you, and if you have ALA, won't you lose the rest of your hair gradually?


 Great question Rizaan. A lot of different factors go into being a good candidate for a HT and unfortunately, it's not as easy as some people seem to think it is. Here are some of the things you need to take into consideration when looking into whether or not a hair transplant is right for you:

1) Genetics/Projected hair loss: How predisposed are you to losing your hair, and to what extent? How prominent is it in your family? One thing that is helpful is that surgeons can check the miniaturization levels of your hair and get a tentative "roadmap" of sorts to project where you may be heading with your hair loss. This will help determine how conservative or aggressive the surgeon can be with your hairline/overall placement, or if it's even a good idea to do at all. 

2) Age: How young were you when you first started losing your hair? How fast is it advancing? As a general rule, a person who starts losing their hair at 20 needs to be a lot more cautious than someone who starts losing their hair at 40, for example.

3) Donor Supply/Hair Type: How thick is your hair and do you have enough density to be able to get the coverage you need? How is your hair type? Is it fine or coarse? Is is straight, wavy, or curly? These all factored in to how big of a challenge your procedure will be, and something you need to take into account when choosing a surgeon. 

4) Finances: Hair transplants are expensive! Not only that, but most people won't need just one hair transplant. They'll most likely need a second one and often a third or a fourth. Is this something you're financially ready for? Not only that, but is this something you want to spend the rest of your life tackling? It's not only a financial commitment, but a time commitment as well. It's often something you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life. And if you do need multiple hair transplants, do you have enough donor hair to make this work? If not, are you willing to try beard hair/body hair? Do you even have beard and body hair to use? It's also very important to note that while there are "cheap/affordable" options out there, you don't want to bargain shop for a hair transplant. Yes, there are fantastic doctors oversees that are more affordable than those in the US, UK, and Canada - but in general, you don't want to make a decision based solely on price.

5) Expectations: This is key to having a positive experience. The fact of the matter is, Hair Transplants aren't a magical cure. No matter how good a surgeon is, there are limits to what we can achieve. It's called science. Not everyone will be able to achieve a Brad Pitt hairline/density, and to pretend otherwise is dishonest and cruel. If one can't properly manage their expectations and accept the reality of their own circumstances, then you shouldn't move forward with a HT. You'll only end up more distressed and miserable in the long run. 

6) Response/Willingness re: medication: Being willing to take Propecia is big factor, and a decision each man needs to make for himself. If you have very severe hair loss and aren't willing to take Propecia, then you may need to be more conservative with your approach to a HT than someone who will take the drug. Also, see how you respond to it. Do you have side effects? Is it something you want to take for the rest of your life? These are things to think about.

7) Risks: Like it or not, every single medical procedure on this planet comes with risks. Results are _not_ guaranteed. Yes, you can greatly increase your odds of a positive outcome by doing solid research and choosing a surgeon with a proven, consistent track record. But even the best surgeons in the world have less than stellar cases. This isn't just with hair transplants, but any medical procedure you have done ever. To think otherwise is naive. Is this something you feel comfortable with? 

So as you can see, this isn't an easy, black and white issue. Pursuing a hair transplant should be taken very seriously and given lots of consideration. And what the original poster was pointing out is that for many men, a very reasonable/logical conclusion for them is that they're happier not going through all of this. For me, based on my genetics, family history, age, donor supply, etc., I felt like I was a good candidate and decided to go through with it. Were/are there risks involved? Absolutely. But I went for it, and I'm glad I did. Am I out of the woods? Not by a long shot. I'm in this for the long haul, as is anyone else that goes down this road and you need to make sure you're okay with that. 

As for what Jean Luc is saying, "Without hair, you are inevitably a lesser human," and whatnot? Maybe it's because I'm a little older and have been through some shit in my life, but that's such BS. I guess what this ultimately comes down to is different philosophy on life. If someone subscribes to that mentality, then by all means, suffer and feel insignificant and worthless until you get the hair that you want. Personally, I don't think that's healthy. And frankly? Sometimes it's _NOT POSSIBLE_. Yes, getting a successful HT can do wonders for your confidence. But it's not necessary. And frankly? Sometimes it's just _NOT POSSIBLE_. I know plenty of highly successful bald men who are funny and charming and popular and happy with beautiful wives and lives that most men would be jealous of. That's a fact. Not a myth.

Rizaan, I hope all of this makes sense and gives you a clearer picture. I don't know your situation or circumstances, but I do know that whatever they are, being happy is a choice we can all make right this second.... Wishing you nothing but the best no matter what part of the journey you're on. 
__________________
_I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff._

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## Rizaan

Thank you for the long reply, pkipling.
I started losing hair at 18 and am almost 21 now; diffuse thinner + MPB. I just recently started taking topical finesteride.
I know what you're saying is true, but me being young, my mind just cannot get over the insecurity of losing hair no matter what advice you give me. It would have been different if this happened in my late 30s or 40s but I was one of the unlucky few to start suffering at such a young age.

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## JeanlucBergman

> Great question Rizaan. A lot of different factors go into being a good candidate for a HT and unfortunately, it's not as easy as some people seem to think it is. Here are some of the things you need to take into consideration when looking into whether or not a hair transplant is right for you:
> 
> 1) Genetics/Projected hair loss: How predisposed are you to losing your hair, and to what extent? How prominent is it in your family? One thing that is helpful is that surgeons can check the miniaturization levels of your hair and get a tentative "roadmap" of sorts to project where you may be heading with your hair loss. This will help determine how conservative or aggressive the surgeon can be with your hairline/overall placement, or if it's even a good idea to do at all. 
> 
> 2) Age: How young were you when you first started losing your hair? How fast is it advancing? As a general rule, a person who starts losing their hair at 20 needs to be a lot more cautious than someone who starts losing their hair at 40, for example.
> 
> 3) Donor Supply/Hair Type: How thick is your hair and do you have enough density to be able to get the coverage you need? How is your hair type? Is it fine or coarse? Is is straight, wavy, or curly? These all factored in to how big of a challenge your procedure will be, and something you need to take into account when choosing a surgeon. 
> 
> 4) Finances: Hair transplants are expensive! Not only that, but most people won't need just one hair transplant. They'll most likely need a second one and often a third or a fourth. Is this something you're financially ready for? Not only that, but is this something you want to spend the rest of your life tackling? It's not only a financial commitment, but a time commitment as well. It's often something you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life. And if you do need multiple hair transplants, do you have enough donor hair to make this work? If not, are you willing to try beard hair/body hair? Do you even have beard and body hair to use? It's also very important to note that while there are "cheap/affordable" options out there, you don't want to bargain shop for a hair transplant. Yes, there are fantastic doctors oversees that are more affordable than those in the US, UK, and Canada - but in general, you don't want to make a decision based solely on price.
> ...


 I'm not saying that one can't have a fulfilling and successful life while bald, I'm saying that you will simply have a life that is lesser than your potential. You make a transplant sound more complex than it actually is, probably because you're fine yourself and would rather be above others and allow other men to suffer.

I do agree with the majority of what you said about expectations, meds and risks however.

"being happy is a choice we can all make right this second..."

And no, being happy is not a choice. What a stupid and ignorant thing to say. Not everyone has a beautiful hair transplant like yourself, although if they need it they should get one. If you were so happy before your transplant (and you weren't even that bald anyway) then why did you get one? You got one because life is shitter as a bald man.

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## spitfire

> Dude. Thank you for this. Even though I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a hair transplant, I do know that everything you're saying is true. So many of our struggles and shortcomings in life can be transformed and reimagined into something not so crippling if we just have the right attitude and perspective - both things that we have complete control over.  
> 
> Thank you for your words and your wisdom. I really hope many of the young hair loss sufferers who think their lives are over see this and gain a new perspective. There is always another way to live if we only choose to be open to its possibility. 
> 
> __________________
> _I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff._


 You're welcome, and thank you for taking the time to validate my views. Best of luck to you.

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## spitfire

> Such a disgusting post. Do you have pictures, or are you just another liar wanting more people to stay bald? The women interested in bald guys are ugly, have bad jobs or are just plain stupid. You've accepted mediocrity, that is all your post is about. You probably think Harry Potter is the pinnacle of western culture, I doubt for one second you'd have a decent job or the ability to have a legitimately intellectual conversation.
> 
> Your "fun" with 3/10s is mediocrity. What you did was settle for second best. There's nothing inspiring about what you said, you've just accepted a shitty life.


 Hi Jean. I'll answer a few of your questions. I assure you I am not lying about anything I've posted. I have no reason to. I also have no reason to wish anyone stay bald to make me feel better about myself. In fact, I, like you, would prefer hair like everyone else on this forum. If a safe cure came out tomorrow, I'd be one of the first in line.

I'm not sure why you've attacked me, or my wife, or for that matter, the love interests of anyone else on this forum. She is not ugly or stupid, and she does in fact have a good paying job at a company she has been with for close to twenty years. And, she is beautiful, inside and out. I haven't accepted mediocrity - I was just lucky enough to find my life partner at a young age.

Also, I've never read any of the Harry Potter books.

On settling for a shitty life - I think that's a matter of perspective. Your idea of an ideal life, and my idea of an ideal life are completely different, and that's perfectly fine, and in fact obvious considering our age differences and today's culture. I'm not here to judge you or your goals and aspirations. I hope you achieve them and find happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy. Do whatever it takes. But at the least,intellectually, you should be able to recognize that not everyone wants or needs the same things in life as you to be happy. 




> ...of this RIDICULOUS post without any photos basically telling people to accept a genetic defect. That isn't helping people to become a stronger person, it's telling them to accept their present state of failure, mediocrity and genetic inferiority.


 Again, if you take a look back at what I wrote, I wasn't telling anyone to accept baldness. I was telling them to do what makes them happy, and that there are different ways to stay positive should you choose to accept that treatment options are not the route you want to take. Hair transplants are a priority for you, and I totally get it. Your young and single with disposable income. But for others who do not have the financial means, especially those who put the needs of their families before themselves, it's not an option. Also, alot of people don't respond well to chemical treatments, so that may not be an option either.

Finally, based on the clear prejudice you have against men who have accepted their genetic fate, it wouldn't matter what picture I post - you would not approve.

Best of luck.

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## blahblah

> Great question Rizaan. A lot of different factors go into being a good candidate for a HT and unfortunately, it's not as easy as some people seem to think it is. Here are some of the things you need to take into consideration when looking into whether or not a hair transplant is right for you:
> 
> 1) Genetics/Projected hair loss: How predisposed are you to losing your hair, and to what extent? How prominent is it in your family? One thing that is helpful is that surgeons can check the miniaturization levels of your hair and get a tentative "roadmap" of sorts to project where you may be heading with your hair loss. This will help determine how conservative or aggressive the surgeon can be with your hairline/overall placement, or if it's even a good idea to do at all. 
> 
> 2) Age: How young were you when you first started losing your hair? How fast is it advancing? As a general rule, a person who starts losing their hair at 20 needs to be a lot more cautious than someone who starts losing their hair at 40, for example.
> 
> 3) Donor Supply/Hair Type: How thick is your hair and do you have enough density to be able to get the coverage you need? How is your hair type? Is it fine or coarse? Is is straight, wavy, or curly? These all factored in to how big of a challenge your procedure will be, and something you need to take into account when choosing a surgeon. 
> 
> 4) Finances: Hair transplants are expensive! Not only that, but most people won't need just one hair transplant. They'll most likely need a second one and often a third or a fourth. Is this something you're financially ready for? Not only that, but is this something you want to spend the rest of your life tackling? It's not only a financial commitment, but a time commitment as well. It's often something you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life. And if you do need multiple hair transplants, do you have enough donor hair to make this work? If not, are you willing to try beard hair/body hair? Do you even have beard and body hair to use? It's also very important to note that while there are "cheap/affordable" options out there, you don't want to bargain shop for a hair transplant. Yes, there are fantastic doctors oversees that are more affordable than those in the US, UK, and Canada - but in general, you don't want to make a decision based solely on price.
> ...


 

So let's say you are in your 20's and your hit by hairloss. And throughout your 20s you see your peers getting all the action from the ladies and basically living the life you want. Then what are your options? Try and make the best of it or don't ultimately everyone comes to terms with the reality of their situation sooner or later! 

But the point of THIS WEBSITE here..*.is to offer transparent, honest information first and foremost*. This man here is offering his subjective experience which will be UNIQUE and DIFFERENT from everybody else.

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## spitfire

> But the point of THIS WEBSITE here..*.is to offer transparent, honest information first and foremost*. This man here is offering his subjective experience which will be UNIQUE and DIFFERENT from everybody else.


 Exactly. No two people are alike and no two experiences are alike. You will always find examples of bald successful men and successful men with hair (however it is you define success). There is absolutely nothing wrong with accepting male pattern baldness, and there is nothing wrong with not accepting it and doing something about it, and there is nothing wrong with accepting it and waiting to do something about it if the right solution for you becomes available. Whichever approach you take, don't stop making the most of your life...that would be the real tragedy, not hair loss.

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## k9gatton

> Yep. In my forties. I don't think it sucks being older. I have a pretty good life because of my experiences. I'm in better shape than I've ever been. I will say, I'm motivated to stay in shape, partly to help me feel better about myself. I can't control my baldness, but there are other things I can control, and that keeps me motivated. Taking care of your teeth, staying clean from drugs and alcohol, taking care of your body and mind. All that helps believes it or not. also, my head is not bad. No bumps or moles/birthmarks. No scars either. Actually looking forward to greying. Hoping it makes me look more distinguished.


 You're in your forties and your hair isn't gray?

That is interesting. Either you have a stress free life, or good genes. My hair started turning
gray in my thirties.

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## JeanlucBergman

> Hi Jean. I'll answer a few of your questions. I assure you I am not lying about anything I've posted. I have no reason to. I also have no reason to wish anyone stay bald to make me feel better about myself. In fact, I, like you, would prefer hair like everyone else on this forum. If a safe cure came out tomorrow, I'd be one of the first in line.
> 
> I'm not sure why you've attacked me, or my wife, or for that matter, the love interests of anyone else on this forum. She is not ugly or stupid, and she does in fact have a good paying job at a company she has been with for close to twenty years. And, she is beautiful, inside and out. I haven't accepted mediocrity - I was just lucky enough to find my life partner at a young age.
> 
> Also, I've never read any of the Harry Potter books.
> 
> On settling for a shitty life - I think that's a matter of perspective. Your idea of an ideal life, and my idea of an ideal life are completely different, and that's perfectly fine, and in fact obvious considering our age differences and today's culture. I'm not here to judge you or your goals and aspirations. I hope you achieve them and find happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy. Do whatever it takes. But at the least,intellectually, you should be able to recognize that not everyone wants or needs the same things in life as you to be happy. 
> 
> 
> ...


 Thank you for your understanding. I just think that for the majority of people that bald in their late teens and early twenties, life doesn't turn out that way, and they ultimately regret not getting transplants sooner. For every success story, there are another two failures where people are genuinely unhappy for decades of their life because of this issue, all because they heard too much noise about the risks of propecia and hair transplants. In reality they've cut 20 of the best years of their life off because idiots on forums told them they could be happy as bald people. I think if you're unhappy with your baldness and it's becoming an issue you worry about on a daily basis, you should do something about it.

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## JeanlucBergman

> So let's say you are in your 20's and your hit by hairloss. And throughout your 20s you see your peers getting all the action from the ladies and basically living the life you want. Then what are your options? Try and make the best of it or don't ultimately everyone comes to terms with the reality of their situation sooner or later! 
> 
> But the point of THIS WEBSITE here..*.is to offer transparent, honest information first and foremost*. This man here is offering his subjective experience which will be UNIQUE and DIFFERENT from everybody else.


 If you have hairloss in your 20s, you should get a hair transplant as soon as you have the funding for one with a well regarded surgeon on the IAHRS list, preferably an FUT. You should also stop listening to the propecia horror stories and get on it ASAP.

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## DAVE52

> If you have hairloss *in your 20s*, you should get a hair transplant as soon as you have the funding for one with a well regarded surgeon on the IAHRS list, preferably an FUT. You should also stop listening to the propecia horror stories and get on it ASAP.


 More bad advice

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## Gon

"just shave it bro, be confident bro" 

I doubt that you'll give the same advice if it was happening to a woman.

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## JeanlucBergman

> "just shave it bro, be confident bro" 
> 
> I doubt that you'll give the same advice if it was happening to a woman.


 Exactly, and a REAL man will fix their hairloss issues with solutions to fight the problem, they won't just shave it off and accept defeat and the fact that they've forever ruined their sex life.

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## Gon

> Exactly, and a REAL man will fix their hairloss issues with solutions to fight the problem, they won't just shave it off and accept defeat and the fact that they've forever ruined their sex life.


 It's not about sexlife for me, i don't live for women , i live for me and my goals, losing your hair is like dying, you'll never be the same person. 

Baldness is a tragedy if you're young, i personally would rather cut my balls and donate them to science instead of losing my hair.

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## DAVE52

> "You don't have to be bald and miserable, and that's all Spitfire was pointing out. "
> 
> You don't, *but until you get a transplant and get on treatments, you will be inferior and not be reaching your potential*. To accept less than your potential is to accept mediocrity, and that is the truth.* Being a 20 year old who can't have sex with anyone younger than 30 is a failure,* and NO ONE would be happy about that.


 What garbage 
You don't need a HT doc you need a shrink to help you through whatever issues are causing you this hatred

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## BaldBearded

> what garbage 
> you don't need a ht doc you need a shrink to help you through whatever issues are causing you this hatred


 amen!

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## OldEnoughToKnowBetter

I'm 41 and started losing hair at 20 (mostly temple recession).  At the time, I was worried I'd be bald by 25 and a laughing stock among my peers.  None of that happened.  The loss progressed much slower than I had anticipated -- I'm a Norwood 2-2.5 with diffuse thinning that is visible under strong overhead light and on bad hair days.  Otherwise, there are days my hair looks relatively full.

I have friends and acquaintances my age who are at various stages of loss who have no problem hooking up with women their age or years younger.  It's all about confidence and realizing that most women (even most young women) don't care about a man's hair loss so much as his lack of self-esteem and if he has a bad hairstyle for the shape of his head and the extent of hair loss.

For me, hair loss has become less anxiety-provoking as I've gotten older.  And, even though the diffuse loss is more visible than it was even just five years ago, I still get plenty of women (older, my age and much younger) looking my way.  IMO a combination of maintaining a healthy body weight and having good hygiene go a long way in feeling confident (and, consequently, attracting women).

No matter your Norwood level, the best things you can do for yourself are:
1.) Don't gain too much weight as you age, or get down to a healthy body-fate percentage and waist size if you're overweight (women find men in the 12-15% range most attractive, and your waist should be no more than half your height, for health reasons);
2.) Practice good personal hygiene, as women often complain of men who have bad body odor, don't floss or brush their teeth, don't trim or clean their nails, and don't trim their hair and beard often enough;
3.) Practice some form of stress relief, be it meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, rhythmic movement, visualization, yoga or tai chi.  In addition to reducing stress, relaxation techniques can make you less emotionally reactive.

TBH just being in shape and maintaining a health body-fat percentage will give you a huge leg up on most men as you move into your 30s and 40s (71 percent of men over 20 are either overweight or obese).  An out-of-shape guy with a full head of hair and high body-fat percentage is much worse off than a balding guy who's in shape.

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## PayDay

> I'm 41 and started losing hair at 20 (mostly temple recession).  At the time, I was worried I'd be bald by 25 and a laughing stock among my peers.  None of that happened.  The loss progressed much slower than I had anticipated -- I'm a Norwood 2-2.5 with diffuse thinning that is visible under strong overhead light and on bad hair days.  Otherwise, there are days my hair looks relatively full.
> 
> I have friends and acquaintances my age who are at various stages of loss who have no problem hooking up with women their age or years younger.  It's all about confidence and realizing that most women (even most young women) don't care about a man's hair loss so much as his lack of self-esteem and if he has a bad hairstyle for the shape of his head and the extent of hair loss.
> 
> For me, hair loss has become less anxiety-provoking as I've gotten older.  And, even though the diffuse loss is more visible than it was even just five years ago, I still get plenty of women (older, my age and much younger) looking my way.  IMO a combination of maintaining a healthy body weight and having good hygiene go a long way in feeling confident (and, consequently, attracting women).
> 
> No matter your Norwood level, the best things you can do for yourself are:
> 1.) Don't gain too much weight as you age, or get down to a healthy body-fate percentage and waist size if you're overweight (women find men in the 12-15% range most attractive, and your waist should be no more than half your height, for health reasons);
> 2.) Practice good personal hygiene, as women often complain of men who have bad body odor, don't floss or brush their teeth, don't trim or clean their nails, and don't trim their hair and beard often enough;
> ...


 That's great advice. I'm an older guy myself and have been dealing with hair loss for more than 20 years. The best advice Spencer Kobren ever gave me on his show was to get my ass in shape. As long as we are healthy it's something we have complete control over. Propecia has helped me maintain hair, but staying fit has helped me both mentally and in most aspects of my life. Most guys who start losing hair young just give up and let themselves go to shit. It's a huge mistake not to take control of what we can in life and to just play victims.

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## OldEnoughToKnowBetter

> That's great advice. I'm an older guy myself and have been dealing with hair loss for more than 20 years. The best advice Spencer Kobren ever gave me on his show was to get my ass in shape. As long as we are healthy it's something we have complete control over. Propecia has helped me maintain hair, but staying fit has helped me both mentally and in most aspects of my life. Most guys who start losing hair young just give up and let themselves go to shit. It's a huge mistake not to take control of what we can in life and to just play victims.


 Thanks!  Have you been on Propecia for long?  I tried to take it back in 1999 and had side effects.  I'm thinking of giving it another try, but I'm not as concerned about hair loss as I was back then at 22-23.

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## PayDay

> Thanks!  Have you been on Propecia for long?  I tried to take it back in 1999 and had side effects.  I'm thinking of giving it another try, but I'm not as concerned about hair loss as I was back then at 22-23.


 Been on it for over a decade. No side effects and maintained my hair very well.

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## Hairhope4ever

Great thread, and great perspective.

Thank you for sharing.

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## Steven D

Thank you!

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## Notbaldyett

Lol looks like bald got the best of ya

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