# Men's Hair Loss > Coping with Hair Loss in Everyday Life >  The girl I was after....

## sausage

So you may have read some of my posts about me trying to build up the courage to ask this girl out I have liked but not seen for years......

I did it....on Wednesday.....and it was a FAIL.  :Frown: 

I messaged her on Facebook, She did not reply at first even though she had come on FB. But I finally got a reply today....it was a nice reply though but she said she was happy being single...which basically means she's not interested cos I have lost my hair.

Oh well...

At least its over and done with, I can move on, at least now I won't have regrets that I didn't at least give it a go.

Maybe I should get henched as much as possible, upload a completely naked photo of me on facebook and see if she enjoys that.

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## clandestine

> I did it....on Wednesday....


 Nice. Good job.




> I finally got a reply today....it was a nice reply though but she said she was happy being single...which basically means she's not interested cos I have lost my hair.


 Try not to make assumptions.




> At least its over and done with, I can move on, at least now I won't have regrets that I didn't at least give it a go.


 This is a great attitude, really.

Kudos to you for garnering the courage to do so, whatever the outcome.

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## DepressedByHairLoss

Dude, speaking of facebook, that's one thing that really pisses me off: I see a bunch of my friends having a great time on facebook and I feel like I can't go on there because I don't want to post pics of myself where it's noticeable that I'm losing my hair.  And it really snuck up on me too.  One year, I was posting photos of myself left and right on facebook but the next year I couldn't post any because I felt that my hair loss was way too noticeable.  Hair loss really snuck up on me so damn quick.

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## sausage

> Dude, speaking of facebook, that's one thing that really pisses me off: I see a bunch of my friends having a great time on facebook and I feel like I can't go on there because I don't want to post pics of myself where it's noticeable that I'm losing my hair.  And it really snuck up on me too.  One year, I was posting photos of myself left and right on facebook but the next year I couldn't post any because I felt that my hair loss was way too noticeable.  Hair loss really snuck up on me so damn quick.


 Same, I only got on Facebook a few months ago. I would have got on it years ago but since losing hair I hate having my photo taken and hate seeing photos of me and didn't want to deal with the embarrassment and baldie comments by others on facebook, I didn't want the hot girls that used to like me think 'what has happend to him'. Because of this I feel I have possibly missed out connecting with girls I would potentially have had a chance with.

I also up to recently could not look at myself in the mirror. For 2 years I did not look at my reflection.

But recently I have now been able to do so and got on Facebook, I have more of an acceptance of how I look, but still I am devastated at how its ruined my life.

But looking in the mirror again + getting on facebook + asking a girl out is a huge step forward for me....

Next step is to get out of my parents house and ask more and more girls out until hopefully I find one that wants me....

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## DAVE52

> ....it was a nice reply though but she said she was happy being single...which basically means *she's not interested cos I have lost my hair.
> *.


  :Roll Eyes (Sarcastic): 

You don't know that

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## yeahyeahyeah

Well done saussage. You have done what most guys can't do!

See it's not that bad!

The worst a girl can say is No. You can now move onto the next one... It's not scary, and eventually one will say Yes  :Smile:

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## sausage

> You don't know that


 Maybe I should ask her.....maybe not, it would devastate me whatever the reason.

I don't see why she would have not liked me personality wise, even if I seem like a nutty, depressant to people on here, I am fairly normal, easy going guy in actual life around people. I have a degree in a similar subject to her so we have that in common.

With hair I would say I am at least average.

The guy she recently split up with was ok looking, I would say I would be better looking than him with hair and I definitely have a better body than him, he had a bit of a belly and matted hair all over his chest.

So putting all that in place I believe she would have been interested if I had hair.

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## yeahyeahyeah

> Maybe I should ask her.....maybe not, it would devastate me whatever the reason.
> 
> I don't see why she would have not liked me personality wise, even if I seem like a nutty, depressant to people on here, I am fairly normal, easy going guy in actual life around people. I have a degree in a similar subject to her so we have that in common.
> 
> With hair I would say I am at least average.
> 
> The guy she recently split up with was ok looking, I would say I would be better looking than him with hair and I definitely have a better body than him, he had a bit of a belly and matted hair all over his chest.
> 
> So putting all that in place I believe she would have been interested if I had hair.


 A tip for the future:

never tell a girl over facebook that you like her. The last time I did this (over msn), she rejected me. *I was a NW0*.

She will react according to how she is feeling at that time about YOU.
Actually, a better way to do it, is to get a convo going. Flirt with her, and just get her to talk about herself. AND then when you can see her interest levels are high, drop in a suggestion about meeting up alone to do x, y thing together.

If she agrees to meet up alone, you have a chance.

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## sausage

> A tip for the future:
> 
> never tell a girl over facebook that you like her. The last time I did this (over msn), she rejected me. *I was a NW0*.
> 
> She will react according to how she is feeling at that time about YOU.
> Actually, a better way to do it, is to get a convo going. Flirt with her, and just get her to talk about herself. AND then when you can see her interest levels are high, drop in a suggestion about meeting up alone to do x, y thing together.
> 
> If she agrees to meet up alone, you have a chance.


 1. I had no other option but to ask her through Facebook.

2. If I had hair I would have asked her personally back when I knew her years ago.

3. I doubt that would have made much difference, not sure why she took 3 days to reply, when she had been on facebook on the wednesday night as she posted something on her wall. Maybe she thought about it for a few days.

4. She came out of a relationship a few months back and I can tell she likes being single but still....if someone is interested in you and asks you out that is at least average looking and normal then your going to meet up surely. I would anyway.

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## yeahyeahyeah

> 1. I had no other option but to ask her through Facebook.


 Sure, just dont tell her you like her. Get chatty, flirt a bit, then ask her out. By that dont do "I like you lets hang out", rather "hey lets check out x thing together"




> 2. If I had hair I would have asked her personally back when I knew her years ago.


 Good for you on trying anyway. BTW even with hair, men get rejected. Attractive men that is - I have been. What Norwood level are you?




> 3. I doubt that would have made much difference, not sure why she took 3 days to reply, when she had been on facebook on the wednesday night as she posted something on her wall. Maybe she thought about it for a few days.


 Girls always do this. Or for that point guys do it too (but you take less notice of it) Has happened to me many many times.

It might be because they are thinking about what to write back.
It could be because they haven't got around to writing back.

Don't read too much into it. You will drive yourself nuts.

The main thing is that she replied. She couldn't have. Happened to me LOADS of times.




> 4. She came out of a relationship a few months back and I can tell she likes being single but still....if someone is interested in you and asks you out that is at least average looking and normal then your going to meet up surely. I would anyway.


 Depends on how you do it.

If it is a blatent lets hang out, without any real bonding done, with your cards out on the table. Then yeah, chances of being rejected is higher. 

The problems with conveying your interest too early, is that girls especially love having what they cant get. You are too available, they get bored and go nah.

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## john2399

Well what picture did you have on facebook? Did it show you have hairloss?

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## sausage

> Sure, just dont tell her you like her. Get chatty, flirt a bit, then ask her out. By that dont do "I like you lets hang out", rather "hey lets check out x thing together"


 I see what your saying, I thought about that for one millisecond and was like no I can't be bothered with that, I see some guys click the 'like' button on her photos, or post 'looking hot'. I could have done that but thought no I'll just write a decent written message asking how she is etc, and if she would be interested in meeting up. I was also concerned that if I tried having conversations with her before I told her I liked her that she may not be that communicative and just blow my confidence and I'd never be able to ask her out.

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## sausage

> Well what picture did you have on facebook? Did it show you have hairloss?


 Yepp.

I am also doing an experiment at the moment, I have joined a dating site, but not officially a member on it so not paying anything but you get updates everyday of who has favorited you and I had a bald pic of me up for a month and I got a whole massive 1 favourite. I have no put a pic up of me with a hat on and I have already got a favourite after just a few days.......

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## yeahyeahyeah

> I see what your saying, I thought about that for one millisecond and was like no I can't be bothered with that, I see some guys click the 'like' button on her photos, or post 'looking hot'. I could have done that but thought no I'll just write a decent written message asking how she is etc, and if she would be interested in meeting up. I was also concerned that if I tried having conversations with her before I told her I liked her that she may not be that communicative and just blow my confidence and I'd never be able to ask her out.


 By telling her that you like her, puts her:

a) on the spot
and 
b) does not separate you from the other guys who call her hot.

At least by getting to know her a bit there is a chance you may grow onto her. Womens feelings are volatile like this.

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## Sogeking

Well when you are trying to ask a woman out you should definetly do it in person. Not over a facebook, SMS, email or a letter. Why?
Well it is not personal and the woman in question can judge you over your looks alone.
Sure some women will turn you down because of the MPBB, some will not. But if you are a good guy and have a good character then in person you can atleast make it hard for them.

Not to mention that you can watch her reactions, body language and eye contact which can tell you a lot.

Sausage I am in the same position as you are. Since my hair loss started I haven't even tried. You at least tried.
I had horrible luck with women before my hair loss so hair loss just made it worse.
But who knows maybe both of us will get lucky some day. And the only way to do that is try. And you tried...

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## Davey Jones

> Yepp.
> 
> I am also doing an experiment at the moment, I have joined a dating site, but not officially a member on it so not paying anything but you get updates everyday of who has favorited you and I had a bald pic of me up for a month and I got a whole massive 1 favourite. I have no put a pic up of me with a hat on and I have already got a favourite after just a few days.......


 OkCupid is free. And actually fairly fun to use. I had a little luck with that back in the day, balding and all. Give it a shot. Heck, even if it doesn't work out (which it might not if you're not in a big enough area), at least you didn't pay a dime.

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## ovoxo

not getting girls is also my biggest fear, until now girls even came up to me  :Frown:

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## clandestine

> Of course it was fail. If you don't ask right away, you will fail for sure.
> 
> 
> >asking girl out on Facebook - beta as fukk
> 
> That's what you get for being a beta male.
> 
> 
> No, if you were attractive she would respond positively to your Facebook message. Stop making a fool out of yourself.
> ...


 You're like the baldtruth prophet, or something.

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## sausage

> Well when you are trying to ask a woman out you should definetly do it in person. Not over a facebook, SMS, email or a letter. Why?
> Well it is not personal and the woman in question can judge you over your looks alone.
> Sure some women will turn you down because of the MPBB, some will not. But if you are a good guy and have a good character then in person you can atleast make it hard for them.
> 
> Not to mention that you can watch her reactions, body language and eye contact which can tell you a lot.
> 
> Sausage I am in the same position as you are. Since my hair loss started I haven't even tried. You at least tried.
> I had horrible luck with women before my hair loss so hair loss just made it worse.
> But who knows maybe both of us will get lucky some day. And the only way to do that is try. And you tried...


 Well as I have said several times, I had no option but to ask her out on a date via Facebook. 

I have had a long term relationship whilst balding but that was in the early stages but still clearly had a receded hairline, since then I had some interest from some girls I knew but nothing really happend as one just wanted sex the other I didn't fancy and since then I have become more reclusive cos my hairs got worse but I am trying to move forward.

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## sausage

> By telling her that you like her, puts her:
> 
> a) on the spot
> and 
> b) does not separate you from the other guys who call her hot.
> 
> At least by getting to know her a bit there is a chance you may grow onto her. Womens feelings are volatile like this.


 I already knew her from working with her, but I just hadn't seen her for years.
I am happy with going straight in and just asking to meet up, thats fine, game over now anyway...

One thing that I think is very true though, 'simply telling sum1 u like them can make them like u' I heard this the other day and it reminded me of my school days when a girl fancied me but I did not like her, she was not very good looking but she persisted for months and simply cos of the fact that she liked me, made me feel good about myself and eventually I gave in because of that....

So I can still chat to her now and again on Facebook, be a bit flirty and u never know she might change her mind in a few months. I am not going to bet on it but who knows. If a hairloss cure come out then I would have thought I'd be in with a chance.

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## sausage

> Of course it was fail. If you don't ask right away, you will fail for sure.
> 
> 
> >asking girl out on Facebook - beta as fukk
> 
> That's what you get for being a beta male.
> 
> 
> No, if you were attractive she would respond positively to your Facebook message. Stop making a fool out of yourself.
> ...


 I already said 1million times that It was my only option to ask her on a date via Facebook! What do you want me to do, find out her address, go round her house knock on her door and ask her out NO! cos she wud be freaked out and call the police.

I already said she didn't reply IMO cos I am bald, simple as that. No1 looks better bald, most men look like twats bald, it sucks big hairy mutha ****ing balls.

You have a girlfriend so u must be mega hot, so why u worrying about your baldness and getting girls?

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## jpm

The vast majority of girls don't care about hair as much as we balding guys do!!

Yes some may not like balding guys but most girls are 10x more insecure about themselves and are probably on forums right now saying 'my boobs are to small' 'I have cellulite' etc etc

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## sausage

> You should have not asked her out instead of tainting your reputation and labeling yourself as a Facebook creep that she will show other girls and tell to avoid.
> 
> Go out on the street and hit on girls at the bus stop or cafeteria.
> 
> I have a girlfriend, but she isn't a 10 and I'm not a 10 either. We are settling for each other, because we can't get better. It is pitiful.
> 
> Also - she wouldn't have called the police if you were hot.


 You should write comedy....

'Hit on girls at the bus stop' LMFAO, I don't want an old age pensioner.

I would be known as 'The Bald Bus Stop Perve'.

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## 25 going on 65

Never contact a long-lost friend/coworker/etc. by telling her you're interested or asking her on a date. The only exception I can think of is if the last time you saw her in person, she was clearly interested in you (even then it's maybe pushing it).
The fact that you're Facebooking her after 2+ years is enough. She'll be wondering if you're interested because of that alone; don't ruin the mystery of it by stating you are.

Instead, be casual about it. Talk about "hanging out and catching up sometime," and you might even suggest meeting up in a group for drinks or something. You don't want her to feel discomfort or pressure, just be a confident guy (fake it) who couldn't care less about whether or not this girl likes you. Because your life is sweet and if one girl doesn't go home with you, the next girl will.

Basically it's about projecting value. If you seem to have a good thing going for you (whether you do or not), women will be drawn to that perceived social status.

This is where men are lucky: women are wired to prioritize other factors above your appearance when looking at potential "mates." That's why ugly guys date pretty women.

But I know this is all easier said than done. Pre-MPB, I didn't give a damn about having any "game," because my appearance was enough to at least get a one-night stand when I went out. Now I feel I have to start growing a decent personality to compensate for my hair loss, which is a real pain in the ass.

On a final note, I disagree with Scorpion that she wouldn't have called the police if you showed up at her house with a full "hot" head of hair. Mass murderers who aren't excessively bald are usually NW1's  :Smile:

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## sausage

Well she was a bit pissed off I didn't tell her I was leaving on my last day lol.

So I saw that as a possible sign she wanted my dick in or around her mouth.

Anyways.....seriously what is the big deal about asking someone out on Facebook that you have no other way of asking out, your saying I should have just let it go and spent the rest of my life thinking 'I should have asked her out'.

I know it sucks asking someone out like that but thats the way it is, my life sucks, my hair sucks so I am not going to worry about contacting sum1 on Facebook, worrying about that compared to worrying about hairloss is a completely different matter.

I am glad its done. I did it cos I was thinking I'd never be able to do it and I'll regret it.

Like the saying goes, 'you only regret what you DIDN'T do, not what you did do' My regrets have gone in one simple message to her. Sorted.

The only regret I have is that I wish I did not suffer from hairloss then I may have had a chance with her.

I will regret having hairloss for the rest of my life.

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## 25 going on 65

> Well she was a bit pissed off I didn't tell her I was leaving on my last day lol.
> 
> So I saw that as a possible sign she wanted my dick in or around her mouth.


  :Big Grin:  Some people might find that offensive but it made me laugh out loud for the first time today


Anyway, I didn't mean to say you shouldn't have contacted her online. I just don't think that was the best time/setting to bring up dating and romantic interest.. the goal of Facebooking her should have been to see her in person, which is more likely to happen if she doesn't feel pressured.
Once you're spending time with someone face-to-face, that's the time to build attraction. 
But it's no big deal, she's one of billions of women on this planet. And you're right that it's 10x better to get rejected than to spend a lifetime wondering what could have happened. 




> I will regret having hairloss for the rest of my life.


 Me too. At least until good enough treatments are available.

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## BaldinLikeBaldwin

Scorpion reminds of a young Confucius the way he delivers wisdom across the board..

#ThankYouBasedFucius

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## sausage

> Some people might find that offensive but it made me laugh out loud for the first time today


 It was from a film called Superbad, its always made me laugh, glad it made u laugh too.





> Anyway, I didn't mean to say you shouldn't have contacted her online. I just don't think that was the best time/setting to bring up dating and romantic interest.. the goal of Facebooking her should have been to see her in person, which is more likely to happen if she doesn't feel pressured.
> Once you're spending time with someone face-to-face, that's the time to build attraction. 
> But it's no big deal, she's one of billions of women on this planet. And you're right that it's 10x better to get rejected than to spend a lifetime wondering what could have happened.


 Well however I asked her if she wanted to do something/meet up/go for a drink it would be pretty obvious that I have a romantic interest in her. So trying to 'see her in person' is exactly the same as meeting up on a date.

I did not say I fancied her that went without saying, I just asked her how she was and if she wanted to meet up sometime.

She said she was happy being single and asked me how I was and said that if she met up with me she would feel as if she was leading me on.

She does seem to be happy as a single person though, she has recently got out of a relationship, she has just got a new job and she's moving out of her parents house soon so yeah maybe she is enjoying her independence and I picked a bad time...

But no lets be honest its my bald head thats screwed me over here.

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## yeahyeahyeah

If it makes you feel better saussage, I was out last night, and my significantly balding mate was more liked then me by a group of girls.

My mate did get rejected a few times, but he kept on trying. Got there in the end.

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## yeahyeahyeah

> It was from a film called Superbad, its always made me laugh, glad it made u laugh too.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well however I asked her if she wanted to do something/meet up/go for a drink it would be pretty obvious that I have a romantic interest in her. So trying to 'see her in person' is exactly the same as meeting up on a date.
> 
> I did not say I fancied her that went without saying, I just asked her how she was and if she wanted to meet up sometime.
> 
> ...


 Yeah but asking her COLD is not sexy, it puts the girl on the spot, and she has to make a decision based on that. Rather if you go out, have FUN, and then make a move your chances of getting somewhere will be much higher.

That is what you are failing to see.

You may as well send her a message and say, I like you lets have sex.

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## yeahyeahyeah

> It all depends on your looks. If you are hot, you can wear a diaper and she will see you as cute.


 Sure looks help, but I was better looking then my friend last night. So it isnt everything.

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## sausage

> Yeah but asking her COLD is not sexy, it puts the girl on the spot, and she has to make a decision based on that. Rather if you go out, have FUN, and then make a move your chances of getting somewhere will be much higher.
> 
> That is what you are failing to see.
> 
> You may as well send her a message and say, I like you lets have sex.


 Again. I had no choice but to ask her on Facebook. I don't know how many times I need to say that.

Also I do realise it is not a good way to ask someone out fall stop.

I would not say it put her 'on the spot' cos I left her a message privately, it was not part of a live conversation so she had plenty of time to think about it.

Anyways.....I believe I am better looking than her ex IF I had hair so if she had turned me down with hair I would have been surprised. Its cos I am bald, or she has her eyes set on sum1 else.

I could keep trying it on with her and u never know but I can't be assed with that shit. I possibly could encourage her to meet up with me on a strictly 'friend' basis and she may accept and then I can woo her when we meet.

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## sausage

> No, it's just 90%.


 Yes we understand your trying to say I must be an ugly bastard and that ugly people can't get girls. You have said many times its all about looks. You no longer need to tell us that anymore, cheers Scorpy.

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## sausage

> I never told you are ugly. You might be average, but the girl you were after was super hot. It's all about castes. You might even be above average looking, but if the girl is super hot you will still be shit in her eyes. Remember, girl always wants a BETTER man than herself, meaning, more attractive, taller, richer, cooler, smarter, etc...but 90% of it boils down to initial attraction which is purely superficial.


 
How do you know the girl I was after was super-hot? How the feck do you know that? I would not put her in the super-hot category. She is my type, I am not sure my mates would feel as attracted to her as I am, as usually I have different taste to others. I go for cute brunette innocent looking girls. My mates usually like slutty looking girls with big tits.

Without hair I would still say I am average looking, its just whether girls are happy to go out with a bald guy, they may be embarrassed to do so, I mean I saw some girl earlier who was fairly attractive but she had a massive ass and that massive ass put me off her completely. So its probably the same for many girls in that they may think I have a nice face and body but my bald head puts them off.

And your wrong about girls wanting a better man than herself, I actually know a fair few bald guys my age who have girlfriends who are out of their league.

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## 2020

> I never told you are ugly. You might be average, but the girl you were after was super hot. It's all about castes. You might even be above average looking, but if the girl is super hot you will still be shit in her eyes. Remember, girl always wants a BETTER man than herself, meaning, more attractive, taller, richer, cooler, smarter, etc...but 90% of it boils down to initial attraction which is purely superficial.


 where is this all coming from? Aren't you from eastern Europe? You watch way too much American television

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## sausage

I definitely picked a bad time to ask her anyway......

She is quite an independent girl who is always doing something, she likes to keep busy.

She has gone away this weekend camping, then next week she is moving in to a local town which is much much much more lively than the one she currently lives in.

She did say she was happy being single right now, which makes sense seeing as she has got a lot going on in her life she is also starting a new job soon, I am sure she can't wait to move to this new town and enjoy the pubs and clubs and other entertainment there. I get the feeling she is moving in with people she does not know and therefore has the potential to hook up with a guy who lives there.

Yes I know ppl will say NO ITS COS UR BALD! yeah probably true, but u got to admit it was not a good time to ask her when she has so much to look forward to and so much keeping her busy. I mean she could have just ignored my message or just deleted me from her friends.

I will try to make more conversation with her on FB and have to hope she does not meet anyone soon, and once she's settled down in 4 months time maybe ask her again if she is still single.

Hopefully by then this Propecia and minoxidil shit will have done its work.

Also I have to move out of my parents house in a few months and the most likely destination will be for me to move to the town she is moving too (not for stalking purposes, this is the best town in the local area) and in all likelihood on a night out in town I will actually bump into her and BOOM! I can bang her round the back of Tesco's.

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