# Other Discussions > Off Topic Discussions >  Can't understand women. Advice needed!

## Ramazan

Ok i think it's time for a real topic, not just something about hairloss!

Ok so i'm starting to get feelings for my classmate from the university, and i'm 100% sure she is into me, so i have no doubt regarding that. the problem is that whenever we are at campus, w etalk a lot, hangout, do homework together etc. She has initiated texting a couple of times also. 

Then the thing, that pisses me:

she is giving mixed signals now that i have given her osme clear indications of the fact that I like her? For example: I was at a party yesterday, and believe me i could've have taken a lady home that night I got a lot of attention form a lot of the women, but the only thing i had on mind was this girl from my class! So i started texting her while I was at the party (she knew i was at a party, we talked about it) and believe me I have never in my life had so Cold answers back. Her answers was like: "go up and dance, make people notice you" and such. WTF?! Does she want me to go for other ladies? She's the only one i have in my mind, but if she's gonna play this crappy game with mixed signals and such i'm out! 

And ideas on what to do?

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## Dan26

Don't waste time and energy getting emotionally invested in this women at your age. Take her home, throw her on your bed, and lay pipe to her like a prime early 90's Super Mario.

Your welcome!

Highlanders advice is good if you actually want to get serious with this girl.

Good luck!

PS Remember that younger women are generally quite insecure and self-conscious, and because of that may not be direct/open about what they want/expect + their intentions. Don't over think things too much broski.

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## BigThinker

> Ok i think it's time for a real topic, not just something about hairloss!
> 
> Ok so i'm starting to get feelings for my classmate from the university, and i'm 100% sure she is into me, so i have no doubt regarding that. the problem is that whenever we are at campus, w etalk a lot, hangout, do homework together etc. She has initiated texting a couple of times also. 
> 
> Then the thing, that pisses me:
> 
> she is giving mixed signals now that i have given her osme clear indications of the fact that I like her? For example: I was at a party yesterday, and believe me i could've have taken a lady home that night I got a lot of attention form a lot of the women, but the only thing i had on mind was this girl from my class! So i started texting her while I was at the party (she knew i was at a party, we talked about it) and believe me I have never in my life had so Cold answers back. Her answers was like: "go up and dance, make people notice you" and such. WTF?! Does she want me to go for other ladies? She's the only one i have in my mind, but if she's gonna play this crappy game with mixed signals and such i'm out! 
> 
> And ideas on what to do?


 Assuming she genuinely likes you, she isn't saying those things to be cold.  She's doing what you should be doing, and playing "hard-to-get".  Think about how you've felt when she's taken forever to text you back, or how you've felt when she was short with you.  It shifts the landscape, if effective, to make you feel slightly below her.

Now, think of things from her perspective: you're at a party, she's not, whatever.  She's not a party and texting and the person receiving the texts is at a party, but apparently standing on the side of the dance and clicking away on his phone in response.  That shows interest, but too much (?)  Well, that depends on a lot of factors that you haven't explained.  If she said she's at home because she isn't interested in partying, but she's bored, you _need_ to ask her if she wants to meet up.  If you aren't ready for that, you need to be the one to be short with her or non-responsive for a day while you go out and party.  You need to put yourself in her shoes: she's reaching out, you aren't responsive, it must mean you are having fun and are a desirable bachelor.

In short: treat girls like dirt, and they'll stick to you like mud.  This isn't an absolute, but it is generally true (I have experiment with texting styles fairly extensively).  But, at some point you have to drop the "too cool" act.  In my opinion, you should drop it after you've chilled outside of school 2 or 3 times.  You should know if you're mutually interested, and you can begin to get "real" with her.

I know this goes against what "true love" should be, and how in an ideal world you'd be inseparable.  But, at University and the party scene, that's how you have to execute things to have the upper-hand.

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## Ramazan

First of all; thx for the replies, good ones  :Smile:  

Second: I have in fact been playing hard to get, cus seriously i can get a lot of women (not trying to be ****y or anything), but i really like this girl. At the beginning i played that shitty hard-to-get game, and I won, she was always the one who would come up to me and talk, show me funny clips on the pc, texting me etc. only to communicate with me. There were even days where i kust ignored her completly and it pissed her off. And she even texted me right away after she saw some girl hitting on me on my facebook profile. So i seriously don’t understand this shit. We spend 4 hours together 2 days ago, and she was really geniune, and I asked her how an ideal relationship should start out, and she mentione dthat it’s best to start out as friends. And yes i did ask her out for coffee for like 2 weeks ago and she said maybe some other time (i found out it was because she got this advice from her friend that once had a crush on me, she’s a bitch nothing like this girl i like). After she declined the coffee date i said **** it, and stopped the communication, and then shit got real, she suddenly got more attached to me than ever before…

And as Highlander may have figured this girl is a good-girl not one of those bitches that have been ****ed over like 99 times! So yeah i respect her, and i don't wanna hurt her, but i won't take any shit from her also...

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## BigThinker

> First of all; thx for the replies, good ones  
> 
> Second: I have in fact been playing hard to get, cus seriously i can get a lot of women (not trying to be ****y or anything), but i really like this girl. At the beginning i played that shitty hard-to-get game, and I won, she was always the one who would come up to me and talk, show me funny clips on the pc, texting me etc. only to communicate with me. There were even days where i kust ignored her completly and it pissed her off. And she even texted me right away after she saw some girl hitting on me on my facebook profile. So i seriously don’t understand this shit. We spend 4 hours together 2 days ago, and she was really geniune, and I asked her how an ideal relationship should start out, and she mentione dthat it’s best to start out as friends. And yes i did ask her out for coffee for like 2 weeks ago and she said maybe some other time (i found out it was because she got this advice from her friend that once had a crush on me, she’s a bitch nothing like this girl i like). *After she declined the coffee date i said **** it, and stopped the communication, and then shit got real, she suddenly got more attached to me than ever before…*
> 
> And as Highlander may have figured this girl is a good-girl not one of those bitches that have been ****ed over like 99 times! So yeah i respect her, and i don't wanna hurt her, but i won't take any shit from her also...


 Well, based on what you've explained, I would say just ask to hang with her off-campus.  If you really are a desirable dude, she may well know that and be trying to rope you in (always a flattering and invigorating feeling, when you realize it).  If she really is a "good girl", I think she might not be too seasoned with the whole "hard-to-get" gig.  That just puts the ball in your court.  That said, if you end up really liking her after a date or two, just keep moving things along without smothering her.  Nothing can kill a flame like being perceived as needy or demanding.  Just be cool and passive.  Slowly take the brakes off as things move along.

Good luck.  Sounds like you are really digging her.  I have a problem with losing interest and feeling "grass is greener on the other side" about girls after any amount of commitment is established.  I'm sure that fades with age.

One last thing:  What I bold/italicized in your post was textbook execution.  Well played.

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## mattj

Her saying "go up and dance, make people notice you" doesn't tell you anything. If that's the worst thing she said then I see no reason to be worried.

The fact that she declined your coffee date suggests she might not want to be more than friends. Even the advice of a biased friend shouldn't put her off if she actually does like you.

See how the routine stuff goes from now on. The texting and the other things you've been doing. If all looks to be back to normal then take another shot at asking her out for coffee.

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## dex89

I would wait it out and socialize(bang) with other girls *secretly* and see if she asks you out instead.

 It works with me all the time, hate playing childish games. Eventually that person texts/calls me wanting to hang out or go on a date.

EDIT: Just make sure she doesn't find out you've been sleeping around or chatting with other girls. You must act like a good gentlemen or this method would not succeed very well.

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## Ramazan

Thx a lot for the replies Guys, they will be taken into consideration  :Smile: 

Just one last thing: how do i deal with this shitty play hard-to-get thing? I have made it clear now, that i like her more than friends, now she plays hards to get more than before? I really like her, but seripusly i'm a grown ass man i don't have the patient to do this shit i have 2 other girls that would die to take out on a date, so what to do? Revenge seems to be the sweetest thought right now, cus if i start a relationship with another girl (that is genuine, and not playing hard to get), this girl will feel like shit?

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## ChrisM

I guess Highlander is jealous and  wants to squeeze out all of your DHT for himself.. you are a lucky man. :Big Grin:

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## AlexPetra

> Revenge seems to be the sweetest thought right now, cus if i start a relationship with another girl (that is genuine, and not playing hard to get), this girl will feel like shit?


 If you really want to start a relationship with another girl, it is up to you. Dont put the blame on this girl. Decide which one you want the most and go after her! 
I would suggest you ask her out again. Do it in a casual way, like sometime after class you could suggest a cup of coffee. Or you could invite her to go to the next party together. Maybe she was cold as you said, because you did not invite her to the last party you went?

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