# Men's Hair Loss > Coping with Hair Loss in Everyday Life >  I think people need to put hair loss in perspective

## ThinningB420

We all hate balding, especially those of us that are young. It is a difficult thing to deal with. However, there are so many worse things we could be struggling with in life.

Think about the kids you see with cancer that are dying AND are bald from chemo. Are you going to tell me your life is harder than theirs?

Or what about people who need heart or liver transplants through no fault of their own? 

In both of these situations, these people tend to waste away before they die in extremely physically painful situations.

Or how about people born conjoined or "little" people. You think people treat you poorly or look down on you because you are balding. Think how these people are treated.

I think it's good for us to try and seek solutions for our problem. It's good to vent occasionally and be upset. However, after all is said and done, we need to keep our ailments in perspective. I'd rather see the people I described above helped by science before people suffering from baldness because their ailments are much more severe than balding.

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## Maradona

> We all hate balding, especially those of us that are young. It is a difficult thing to deal with. However, there are so many worse things we could be struggling with in life.
> 
> Think about the kids you see with cancer that are dying AND are bald from chemo. Are you going to tell me your life is harder than theirs?
> 
> Or what about people who need heart or liver transplants through no fault of their own? 
> 
> In both of these situations, these people tend to waste away before they die in extremely physically painful situations.
> 
> Or how about people born conjoined or "little" people. You think people treat you poorly or look down on you because you are balding. Think how these people are treated.
> ...


 That is true, I would happily live like a bald monster knowing that it was for a purpose like helping people with way worse diseases than baldness.

I suffer a couple of chronic injuries from football so I may understand a bit of what they go through but it's nothing compared to those things you mentioned.

Unfortunately me not caring about my hair won't change their status.
So I gotta put this thing as one priority but not to the point of scorpion like thinking, that's ****ed up.

RIP Scorpion.

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## john2399

You are correct, there are 100 percent worse things than hairloss but everyone has their own problems and just because people have worse problems than hairloss does not take away the pain we feel. I hate when people say(not you) that there are worst things in life. Yes, there are worse things but we still have to deal with the hairloss and just because theres worse in life are we suppose to feel happier? Its kind of messed up if you think of it because we actually feel happy when we see someone else deal with something worse because we can say atleast i don't have to deal with that.

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## ThinningB420

I agree that it doesn't take away the pain and I don't think we should feel happy someone has it worse. I just think when we're really feeling down we should realize how tough it must be for someone in worse situations to persevere and maybe it can motivate us to not let balding hurt us so much. It's definitely easier said than done, and I struggle with it myself. My hair is worse than most of the guys on this site, but I have to tell myself to push on.

I think it's our nature to become preoccupied with our troubles and we only realize how much we exaggerate them when big things affect people around us. I think humans need to learn to balance our preoccupations with ourselves with helping those in serious need around us. I'm sure the world would be a lot better for it.

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## DepressedByHairLoss

I think the reason that a lot of us let our depression over hair loss consume us and do not think about others who supposedly have it worse is because we don't see very many kids with cancer, conjoined twins, little people, etc.  Yet when we get out every day, we see loads of people with full heads of hair, and people walking around all happy with their lives, while a lot of us are miserable due to hair loss.  In today's society which places an emphasis on good outer looks more than any other, we are bombarded with images of people who look great and the attributes that make them look great.  We see it every day, whether it is in movie advertisements, music videos, or even advertisements for dating websites (I see those match.com ads all the time).  And in almost every one of these instances, the good-looking people have full heads of hair.  Sure, they often have other qualities like a muscular body, but those other qualities can be achieved through hard work.  Unfortunately, a full head of hair cannot be achieved and that's what really frustrates me because I would work so arduously, spend loads of money, and literally walk to end of the earth to get my full head of hair back.  

ThinningB420, you're right about us having to move on.  That's exactly what I did today.  I had a terrible weekend (mainly due to my preoccupation with hair loss) and after work I was just tempted to come home, close the windows and shades, and lie there in my room.  But I forced myself to go to the gym and actually had a really good workout.  I still feel the pain of hair loss (and have felt it for almost 2 years now) without a doubt, but I'm still glad that I forced myself to go to the gym.

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## NotBelievingIt

"Move On" doesn't really work - you will never be able to just put hair loss aside.  Its always (not) there.

You have to accept the new you as well as make yourself understand that unless it looks bad nobody else cares or even likely notices beyond a quick glance.

"looks bad" may sound subjective, but I think we can all agree on what looks bad and its THAT that you want to avoid.

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## moore

Comparing illness from different people just brings the effort off topic.
Caring less about hair loss won't make anybody feel better, and actually I think some amazing cures were found looking for something else. So yes, baldness is not probably going to kill anybody but still, in 21th century, with the technology we have, is time to study it in deep, understand it, and defeat it.

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## gmonasco

> Or how about people born conjoined or "little" people. You think people treat you poorly or look down on you because you are balding. Think how these people are treated.


 It's very much human nature that we feel much more keenly about the loss of something we once had than the absence of something we never had.  Conjoined twins and little people certainly have their own issues and difficulties to deal with in life, but they've also never known any other reality.

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## john2399

> It's very much human nature that we feel much more keenly about the loss of something we once had than the absence of something we never had.  Conjoined twins and little people certainly have their own issues and difficulties to deal with in life, but they've also never known any other reality.


 Great point.

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## lalala

> I'm pretty sure Scorpion killed himself because of hair loss, so maybe you should think twice before telling me to put this "in perspective". **** perspective. I want a NW1. I want it so ****ing bad I'll turn gay for any decent HT doctor out there. I want it so bad I'll donate my sperm to someone's wife so they can have genetically superior children. I want it so bad I'll become a male prostitute just to raise the money. *I WANT IT SO BAD I AM WILLING TO SELL MY SOUL FOR IT! IF THE DEVIL COMES TO ME ONE DAY, THEN SO HELP ME GOD I WILL GIVE MY SOUL FOR A NW1!!!!!*
> 
> I'm saying this in memory of Scorpion...
> 
> *NW1 OR DIE TRYING! NW1 OR DIE AT NW3!* 
> 
> Amen.


 Surprised to hear you say that your sperm would create genetically superior children. You of all people should know that with your MBP gene you are a cancer to the human gene pool.

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## boourns

I'm not trying to be insensitive but I feel that when you have an actual serious debilitating disease you are almost put in a different category of people.  When you have noticeable hair loss you're still considered like everyone else just not as ideal. You're still expected to try to live life like everyone else but you're at a disadvantage in a way.  There's not that much sympathy for you.   Feels that way anyway.  Possibly it's all in my head. 

If you were battling serious cancer or if you were missing your legs no one would expect you to go out and get a girlfriend or be out and about living life to the fullest.  I don't know.  Sounds lame but I just feel that way sometimes.

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## ThinningB420

That's because those things are serious and physically affect your body's ability to function significantly. Hair loss does not physically prevent your body from functioning. It's a cosmetic issue that affects many psychologically. It is lame for people to feel sorry for themselves because of hair loss. We can all dislike it and try to fix it but we shouldn't let hair loss ruin our lives.

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## BGP

You know, before I experienced MPB, I never even noticed bald people. It's so common it felt like that person who's walking around as NW6 or 7 was simply always like that. Almost like they had just been made that way. 

But when it's you and you see the progression...it's an entirely different world.

Also, yes there are much worse diseases than MPB, in fact I can think of things that could be potentially worse than cancer or other terminal illnesses. Ever head of Fatal Familial Insomnia? Google it.

Still, not to belittle those who have it worse off, but MPB is the central battle of my life right now, so I don't really spend too much time caring about what else others have to go through. That being said, if I was diagnosed with some terminal illness tomorrow, my thought pattern would be "I would trade away all my hair forever to survive this terminal illness".

It all depends on where the battle is for you.

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## ThinningB420

BGP, you just summed up the problem well. IMO it shouldn't take something worse to make us realize the significance, or lack thereof, of balding. We need to be levelheaded and rational. Look at the movie Shallow Hal. Jason Alexander's character always found flaws in women. He even stopped dating this hot girl because her second toe was longer than her big toe. Yeah it's a movie but I has a valid point. We overemphasize things that in reality are not as important as we make them out to be. Hair loss is a prime example.

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## PayDay

> BGP, you just summed up the problem well. IMO it shouldn't take something worse to make us realize the significance, or lack thereof, of balding. We need to be levelheaded and rational. Look at the movie Shallow Hal. Jason Alexander's character always found flaws in women. He even stopped dating this hot girl because her second toe was longer than her big toe. Yeah it's a movie but I has a valid point. We overemphasize things that in reality are not as important as we make them out to be. Hair loss is a prime example.


 I understand the depression caused by hair loss very well, but being positive and thanking my blessings is what has gotten me through all of this. Its not easy, but there are far worse things to deal with in life.

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## Person

Yes, hairloss is not physically harmful.  But it can be very mentally damaging.  Causing depression, anxiety, low self esteem, social anxiety etc.  It is quite annoying when people just say "it could be worse, or you could have cancer, or no legs".

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## boourns

> That's because those things are serious and physically affect your body's ability to function significantly. Hair loss does not physically prevent your body from functioning. It's a cosmetic issue that affects many psychologically. It is lame for people to feel sorry for themselves because of hair loss. We can all dislike it and try to fix it but we shouldn't let hair loss ruin our lives.


 Ya we shouldn't feel sorry for ourselves and all the other negative feelings but obviously all of us here do.  If I didn't give a crap about hair loss I wouldn't be on this forum and I doubt too many other people would either.  I guess it's our primitive minds that fear alienation as it might make us the beta or gamma person in our group.  Hair loss is like the ultimate crappy thing that can happen to you cosmetically before it crosses the line to tragic.  It doesn't get that "don't make fun of him" status like if a dog bit off your nose.

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## NeedHairASAP

Its not me that needs to get over it, it's the people who make bald jokes and look down on bald people... If that wasn't the case I probably wouldn't care

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## PayDay

> Its not me that needs to get over it, it's the people who make bald jokes and look down on bald people... If that wasn't the case I probably wouldn't care


 If thats really true, then you should find other people to hang around with and stop letting  peoples stupidity bother you. If you're cool looking at your reflection as a balding man, than youve won the battle! Get on with your life.

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## dda

> Its not me that needs to get over it, it's the people who make bald jokes and look down on bald people... If that wasn't the case I probably wouldn't care


 
I have been the brunt of the balding joke many times, and have just had to stand there and take it like a loser.  I swear this shit happens to the nicest guys.  i was never the one to make fun of the nerdy kid, or make fun of the fat kid.  Always respectful of my elders, and respectful to my peers.  You know? just a quiet regular dude.  i had a big gap between my teeth in HS and finally got that corrected at the end of HS.  I did not flirt with one girl in HS, not one.  Only got with one average girl.  I mean in HS, when looks are everything, who would want to date someone with shitty teeth. I thought things were turning around.  Boy was I wrong.  ONce MPB started advancing for me, i just thought to myself, so this is what happens when you are a good person. 

 I feel the same way man.  I hate how Thinningb420 just thinks that we all should just get over it and that there are far more worse things to go through.  Well thats why we are here dumbss, cause this fcking bs genetic disease is/has ruining/destroyed our self confidence and self worth.  Hairloss has made be believe that I am a pathetic for starting to bald practically when I was 18/19.  This sht had messed with my head so much I don't even know who I am anymore.  Some days all I think about is what it would be like to end my life cause I can't bare the thought of being completely bald and having to shave my head.  I liked the way I looked for 18 years, so why can't  I continue to look like that?  Because of some crap disease that we have no control over. 

At work, I see groups of guys walking around with full heads of hair, and I become so self conscious that I think when they are looking at me they are thinking wtf happened to this kid?  Then when I am on the train and seated, and theres an attractive girl coming on and standing, and she can surely see my thinning hair, I can't even make eye contact for more then a second for fear of seeing the shocked look on her face of how bad my hair looks.  

As bad as this sounds, I think sometimes I  would have been better off to get cancer, have to go thru chemo, and lose my hair.  Then there would actually be a reason to why I lost it and people wouldn't look at me like some depressed balding loser

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## Maaz

I too think people make a too big deal out of hair loss. I think it comes from the Western culture where hair especially in your 20s is an important factor. But in the end of the day, it's just hair. Be a man, grow a pair, and deal with it. I am 20, and have already male pattern baldness, due to family history. I'm not really sad or depressed honestly, I don't take any medication for it nor plan on doing anything special for my hair. I'm fine the way I am. I am happy and have a good life. I'm not a girl to get too obsessed with my hair.

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## Dazza

> I too think people make a too big deal out of hair loss. I think it comes from the Western culture where hair especially in your 20s is an important factor. But in the end of the day, it's just hair. Be a man, grow a pair, and deal with it. I am 20, and have already male pattern baldness, due to family history. I'm not really sad or depressed honestly, I don't take any medication for it nor plan on doing anything special for my hair. I'm fine the way I am. I am happy and have a good life. I'm not a girl to get too obsessed with my hair.


 Yet you feel the need to announce to random people that your "ok" and "fine" with hairloss yet post and comment on a hairloss forum. Plus who are you to tell people to grow a pair and deal with it? You are again? 

People deal with things differently..

I your really "fine" then why the **** would you waste your time on here?!

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## Maaz

> Yet you feel the need to announce to random people that your "ok" and "fine" with hairloss yet post and comment on a hairloss forum. Plus who are you to tell people to grow a pair and deal with it? You are again? 
> 
> People deal with things differently..
> 
> I your really "fine" then why the **** would you waste your time on here?!


 I wanted to know opinion about progression of my MPB. That doesn't mean I am overly obsessed with my hair. Well for some people, it's worthy saying 'grow a pair' when you see people being too emotional over some hair loss.

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## FlightTL

One guy said "Balding just means you have more scalp now"


He was well equipped to deal with hair loss.

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## MPBmustdie

The reason baldness is so devastating is that society burns the image the hair is youth, beauty and attractiveness. Bald is not beautiful, and never will be.

Hair loss is so sudden, and all of us pray to the Heavens that we will be afflicted by this "handicap". We have absolutely no control over it; everyone draws from the genetic lottery. Some are quite lucky(Clint Eastwood) and unlucky(me, a pathetic balding teenager.) I once asked a girl out to prom and was instantly rejected, as she believed that missing hair is the equivalent of missing and eye or a finger.

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## dex89

> I have been the brunt of the balding joke many times, and have just had to stand there and take it like a loser.  I swear this shit happens to the nicest guys.  i was never the one to make fun of the nerdy kid, or make fun of the fat kid.  Always respectful of my elders, and respectful to my peers.  You know? just a quiet regular dude.  i had a big gap between my teeth in HS and finally got that corrected at the end of HS.  I did not flirt with one girl in HS, not one.  Only got with one average girl.  I mean in HS, when looks are everything, who would want to date someone with shitty teeth. I thought things were turning around.  Boy was I wrong.  ONce MPB started advancing for me, i just thought to myself, so this is what happens when you are a good person. 
> 
>  I feel the same way man.  I hate how Thinningb420 just thinks that we all should just get over it and that there are far more worse things to go through.  Well thats why we are here dumbss, cause this fcking bs genetic disease is/has ruining/destroyed our self confidence and self worth.  Hairloss has made be believe that I am a pathetic for starting to bald practically when I was 18/19.  This sht had messed with my head so much I don't even know who I am anymore.  Some days all I think about is what it would be like to end my life cause I can't bare the thought of being completely bald and having to shave my head.  I liked the way I looked for 18 years, so why can't  I continue to look like that?  Because of some crap disease that we have no control over. 
> 
> At work, I see groups of guys walking around with full heads of hair, and I become so self conscious that I think when they are looking at me they are thinking wtf happened to this kid?  Then when I am on the train and seated, and theres an attractive girl coming on and standing, and she can surely see my thinning hair, I can't even make eye contact for more then a second for fear of seeing the shocked look on her face of how bad my hair looks.  
> 
> As bad as this sounds, I think sometimes I  would have been better off to get cancer, have to go thru chemo, and lose my hair.  Then there would actually be a reason to why I lost it and people wouldn't look at me like some depressed balding loser


 Dam, you need a hug.. you have to stop caring about what other people think about you. You should try to bulk up and get some nice abs, trust me this works for every man, bald or good set of hair. People won't messed with you or make fun of you because you'll be that buff guy people talk about.  Improve the way you dress and represent yourself. I'm rocking out with shirt that shows my muscular futures and this works all the time. Sure, I sometimes get average girls but i had hooked  up with  some hot tamales.  You said that your respectful and sweet, that is awesomeness. That's what every decent good girl wants. A person that is nice and caring like yourself, try going out and mingling with people at the bar/club. Forget about facebooks, myspace, and such, it was only meant for trolling anyways. Meet people in person not threw the internet, that only worked for me 4 times, worst experience ever. I currently talking to 3 girls and have over 10 female friends that have done sexual relations with. this method works , ESPECIALLY if you represent yourself has good person like yourself.

Always stay positive, good luck.

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## clandestine

Nice, dex.

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## Lazoid

> Nice, dex.


 Definitely... Word

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## gallas

I absolutely HATE my hair loss and wil NEVER EVER accept it in my life and will try to fix it till the cows come home.  I'm very sensitive about people noticing my thinning hair.  I even HATE myself for it, though people say, Youre beautiful, regardless.  I don't completely believe it.  maybe they'll give up.  I'm calling for hair loss to be more socially acceptable for women,  I wish it would change.  I feel like an ugly loser because of my thinning hair.  and have a very low opinion of myself  I cant and wont accept it---EVER.  I wear wigs and hairpieces and its the only way I can feel ok about my appearance.

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## Ahab

How do you delete a post anyway?

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## Ahab

...

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## Ahab

> We all hate balding, especially those of us that are young. It is a difficult thing to deal with. However, there are so many worse things we could be struggling with in life.
> 
> Think about the kids you see with cancer that are dying AND are bald from chemo. Are you going to tell me your life is harder than theirs?
> 
> Or what about people who need heart or liver transplants through no fault of their own? 
> 
> In both of these situations, these people tend to waste away before they die in extremely physically painful situations.
> 
> Or how about people born conjoined or "little" people. You think people treat you poorly or look down on you because you are balding. Think how these people are treated.
> ...


 I'd rather have gotten cancer and died fifty years ago instead of having lived all these years with hair loss. So speak for yourself.

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## Ahab

> I absolutely HATE my hair loss and wil NEVER EVER accept it in my life and will try to fix it till the cows come home.  I'm very sensitive about people noticing my thinning hair.  I even HATE myself for it, though people say, Youre beautiful, regardless.  I don't completely believe it.  maybe they'll give up.  I'm calling for hair loss to be more socially acceptable for women,  I wish it would change.  I feel like an ugly loser because of my thinning hair.  and have a very low opinion of myself  I cant and wont accept it---EVER.  I wear wigs and hairpieces and its the only way I can feel ok about my appearance.


 Women have a perfect right to be repulsed by bald men.  I don't blame women for not wanting to infect their children with bald genes by having a bald man as the father of their children.

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## GroughBack

I also will sacrifice my hair to save just one sick person!!!.........................................  ................ wait a second, how's MY hair going to save a soul....... shit! I'll just keep my hair!!!

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## k9gatton

I'm a _hair or nothing_ kind of guy. There's NOTHING I would do to *NOT SAVE MY HAIR*.

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## Peter Harington

I agree with the above poster... that hair is very important to many people including myself and I would do everything in my power to keep it.

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## strats

The op is right. Put things in perspective. Hair should not define anybody's self worth. When you're balding/bald, do what you need to do and move on, but don't meditate on how "afflicted" you are - put that time and energy into good use and tackle the other aspects you can control (including hair replacement treatment). Personally, I'd rather be balding/bald but in great physical/emotional shape than have a full head of hair and overweight/sick/obsessed with keeping it and worrying all the time about it's appearance/having to take potentially life changing medication/not to mention the hefty financial investments. Seriously, other people don't put as much thought into your appearance as you do, as long as you maintain a good level of hygiene, from what I can tell. Lack of hair is NOT the end of the world if you don't want it to be.

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## Ahab

> We all hate balding, especially those of us that are young. It is a difficult thing to deal with. However, there are so many worse things we could be struggling with in life.
> 
> Think about the kids you see with cancer that are dying AND are bald from chemo. Are you going to tell me your life is harder than theirs?
> 
> Or what about people who need heart or liver transplants through no fault of their own? 
> 
> In both of these situations, these people tend to waste away before they die in extremely physically painful situations.
> 
> Or how about people born conjoined or "little" people. You think people treat you poorly or look down on you because you are balding. Think how these people are treated.
> ...


 I am currently faced with a medical condition that might kill me.  If I had a choice of miraculously having hair again or having my medical condition miraculously cured, I'd rather have hair again and take my chances. So speak for yourself. I'd rather die with hair on my head than live life bald for a hundred years.

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## strats

> I am currently faced with a medical condition that might kill me.  If I had a choice of miraculously having hair again or having my medical condition miraculously cured, I'd rather have hair again and take my chances. So speak for yourself. I'd rather die with hair on my head than live life bald for a hundred years.


 Sorry to hear about your medical condition. So do you have hair?

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## ThinningB420

Seven years after posting this I come back to confirm my original post. My hair continues to look worse every year. I buzz it, but I'm to the point of buzzing it with a zero guard soon.

However, life is good. I've gotten married, have a couple of kids and have gone/are going through medical complications with my family. Watching a child in the pICU and hoping they won't have brain damage from low oxygen levels really makes you think. In the time since I made my original post, I've seen my perfectly healthy dad have to retire due to autoimmune disease that forever changed him in a matter of weeks. I've taken my son to the ER twice for breathing difficulties before the age of two after he caught simple colds, and I've found out that my wife has a benign brain tumor that we will need to monitor. 

I hate my crappy hair. It looks terrible and I am still self conscious about it. However, there are more important and challenging things out there. I'd go bald today if my dad, son, and wife could be completely healthy in exchange. I've occasionally looked at this site to see if there are any new treatments out there. However, I've given up logging in as I have to let go of the hair and work on all of the other challenges life has for me. 

I hope they due cure baldness soon, but I'd gladly take cures for things like Cancer, ALS, and other autoimmune diseases first. I wish you all the best and I hope Ahab's medical condition will be better soon.

Thanks everyone

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