# Other Discussions > Hair Loss Rants >  Why everyone fears being ugly.

## yeahyeahyeah

I had this dream and it left me rattled:

Last night I had a dream. It was a work party.

Was being ridiculed in the jacuzzi by the girls mainly. there were 4 of them. They were being shallow towards my looks by picking on me. I was being unreactive and cheeky. Trying to roll it off.
Then  one girl went  'who would seriously want to **** you to my face', laughing, I snapped and lost my cool. I had remembered what it was like being ridiculed for years over them. And it hit me harder this time because I had my surgeries.

So I totally turned on the girl, became venom and went 'do you have any idea how it feels like after you've had 3 jaw ops?'

She felt like crap, I got up went up to my boss told him that i wasn't taking part in any of this anymore, and was quite emotional. Stormed off. My high value socially good looking saavy friends told everyone else  off for me. They took my place. She left. Boss sided with me.

boss comforted me. I eventually broke down in front of him and started  crying and told him that this is why i don't drink and was sick and tired of trying to gain respect and feel accepted.

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This is why I don't want to lose my hair.

I know how it feels like when you are unaesthetic. It's true girls laugh at you and treat you like a joke.

I think this is everyone's greatest fear - not being accepted. People not liking us for something we have no control over (facial aesthetics). And the uncertainty is what ****s us up. If I knew I wouldn't die alone and be with a girl of my choice I won't be bothered.

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## lalala

Both of you are pathetic little bitches.

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## BigThinker

> If I knew I wouldn't die alone and be with a girl of my choice I won't be bothered.


 You _do_ have some amount of control over your appearance, and you have _a lot_ of control over other facets of your presentation.  Don't ever forget that.  It should be driving your day-to-day actions.

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## yeahyeahyeah

> You _do_ have some amount of control over your appearance, and you have _a lot_ of control over other facets of your presentation.  Don't ever forget that.  It should be driving your day-to-day actions.


 I have surgery in may, nose and chin (medical), so I feel hard done tbh

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## BigThinker

> I have surgery in may, nose and chin (medical), so I feel hard done tbh


 I had to look up what "hard done" meant - must not be an American thing.

But, I remember in my early teens, while making the transition from kid to adolescence, feeling "hard done".  Above average acne, an above average sized nose, late puberty, average height, average weight, etc, etc, etc.  It's all perspective.

Time went on, and I saw kids with absolutely crippling acne, kids who were too small to even be on the tennis team, kids who _still_ couldn't talk to girls by the end of highschool, kids who sucked at socializing and were afraid to drink and smoke and chase girls.  Instead of being "hard done", I felt blessed.  I felt so ashamed that I even _thought_ negatively about my ancestry/genetics.  I felt so ashamed that I lashed out at my dad and sisters because I was so fixated on_ myself_.  Even typing this is making me remember how ungrateful I was, and it still chokes me up.

I have no idea what your whole story is.  So, I hope this isn't coming off as condescending or patronizing and instead sympathizing.  The difference between being comfortable in your own skin and not is so stark and vivid in my brain, that I can't even imagine having to go back to that.  I hope your work will ultimately affect what is most important -- your mental state.

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## baldozer

> I have surgery in may, nose and chin (medical), so I feel hard done tbh


 I read this story the other day where a man sued his wife after having an ugly daughter. He first thought the daughter was not his but then his wife confessed she had plastic surgeries as she was very ugly before. I saw her photo before the surgery, and well, it made me puke!

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## yeahyeahyeah

> I read this story the other day where a man sued his wife after having an ugly daughter. He first thought the daughter was not his but then his wife confessed she had plastic surgeries as she was very ugly before. I saw her photo before the surgery, and well, it made me puke!


 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...g-120-000.html

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## BeaveCake

I had to shave my head completely skinhead bald at 19 when I lost it to shock, it's not coming back and I'm a skinny pale guy-guess what though, I'm told all the time I rock no hair, girls say they'd never imagine me with hair my face and head work so well with it, yeah some girls can't get past no hair but guess what plenty don't care enough to let it be a deal breaker, shave your head, and don't buy into the self defeatist stories on this site-they are all sad "men" who can't get past no hair and want to whine about it. You can still be seen as attractive with a shaved head, it's as simple as that, sure you may look a little better with perfect hair but shaved is nowhere near an unattractive trait. There's millions of bald guys even young out there living happily, you're on a site where the losers who couldn't take it went to self pity, I understanding venting but some of these guys are just sad. So please when the time comes shave it and don't look back to this place for help. It'll do the opposite. I know a completely skinhead bald guy who just married a very gorgeous girl and they are both in their 20's I'm only 20 shaved completely bald and I know a number of very attractive girls who always talk with me and joke about how good I look with no hair, and it sure as hell hasn't set back my social life at college either. Please take my knowledge that shaved bald can be attractive even if it's not your first choice and move beyond anything those here could reach. I'm sure some of the 'pity me' crew will jump this but I'll be the bigger man and won't reply. I wish you the best.

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