# Men's Hair Loss > Coping with Hair Loss in Everyday Life >  Got Found Out for concealing hair loss

## jammer

Hey all.  Sort of been a long and awful journey with hairloss and coping.  I would say I noticed significant hair loss around the age of 26 primarily from hereditary reasons and everyday stresses in life.  I decided to use dermmatch and toppik at the time to fill in thinning areas.  After realizing how good it looked with the concealer, I decided to grow my hair out quite a bit and ended up using more concealer (probably looked more noticeable but it didn't occur to me at the time).  Let me preface the conversation by saying that I'm a gay male and appearance tends to be super important in a very superficial society.  Well, I believe my friends caught on about the concealer yet one of them began a rumor that I was wearing a rug.  Again, didn't really bother me b/c I knew I wasn't wearing one but I started to get nervous because I was hiding something.  To make a long story short, the rumor stuck and it spread like wildfire.  I would go out and people would snicker or would indirectly make fun of me in person.  I ditched the concealer and tried the scalp pigmentation procedure on a small area across the top of my head.  Again, it started off by looking neat but for someone who likes to be in the sun, it changed colors and it wasn't what I thought it would be so I had it lasered off.  Fast forward to November of last year and I had about 2,300 of FUE grafts done on the top of my head.  Was very satisfied with it as I was now comfortable wearing a no guard buzzed head.  The only problem is that I had some hyperpigmentation from the laser removal treatment and my skin had developed a blueish hue to it.  I would say I've lost pretty much all of my 'friends' through this whole thing.  If I got the hint that anyone was onto me or that they were making fun of me, I wouldn't talk to them anymore.  Shame on me for telling people what I had been doing but I truly felt it was no one's business and if they were my true friends, I would think they would go about asking me if something was wrong rather than publicly humiliate me.  So I ask if anyone else has been in a similar situation as me in terms of being found out and coping with it?  Also, it is extremely difficult to meet new friends or even a partner as it seems everyone in this city is aware of my insecurity and the ways I went about 'hiding' it.  Any advice on how to get over this.  Again, today I am not using any concealers or products but I feel a scarlet letter is on me because of this whole ordeal.  Appreciate some feedback and happy to answer any questions. Thanks.

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## Agahi

Anyone who would torment you about something like this and spread rumors is no friend. I would have started several right back about this person. He has a little penis, likes poop play porn ect.

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## jammer

Yeah, it's a pretty shitty situation.  Several of them (not sure how many were involved) also hacked my iCloud so they were able to see all of the pictures I took of my hair situation.  Obviously I know these people are not the type of people I want to be around or associate with but when it seems everyone seems to not want to be my friend or even date me because of my concealing hairloss in the past.  It sucks and just trying to find good people who don't care.

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