# Men's Hair Loss > Men's Hair Loss: Start Your Own Topic >  I'm so devastated for my son

## muchtooyoung

I'm the Mother of a 20 year old boy who is going bald!!  I noticed it a bit over the summer on the back crown area but didn't say anything.  When he was home from college over Thanksgiving though, he said he's noticing thinning at the crown but wasn't hugely concerned as he thinks he'll be 40 before it gets really going.  The unbelievable thing is that he's home now for Christmas and I think it's now thinning not just in the back, but now progressing to the middle of his top head - how can this have advanced so in just a month?!  I'm just sick over this - he's just too young and he's such a good kid -I don't want to have him suffer with this at this age. I come from a long line of full-haired men but my husband's brother and his son went very bald early, and I have to think that this is where it came from.  This is messed-up thinking but I'm almost angry with my husband for passing this on - my other son also has another type of problem that my husband's family has and I at least thought this boy would be safe from the flawed genetics, but very unfortunately not.  I haven't said anything to my son as I don't want to worry him and I know it greatly would.  I'm thinking I should bring him to a dermatologist for a confirmation and then maybe get him on rogaine.  He makes his own decisions but I would say propecia is a last resort.  I'm not wealthy but nothing is more important to me than the well-being of my kids, so I'm prepared to pay for a hair transplant down the road if he wants it.  I realize this isn't a horrible illness, but the mental effects on such a young person can be just as devastating.  Any suggestions or words of wisdom??

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## AFye

I can't wait for the crowd who says women don't care about hair deal with this one.

Angry at husband for passing down bad genes?

I'll be watching this thread closely.

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## win200

> I can't wait for the crowd who says women don't care about hair deal with this one.


 Well, it's her son, not a potential romantic interest. Mothers scrutinize their sons differently; they notice things others don't. I still think most guys with hair loss vastly overestimate the degree to which most (not all, but MOST) women care about or even notice hair loss. I mentioned my brother's hair loss to my ex-wife the other day, who sees him reasonably frequently, and she had no idea what I was talking about--she literally hadn't notice. And he's a NW3 *at best.*

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## win200

> Any suggestions or words of wisdom??


 You've got a really tough decision to make here--either leave your son be and let him continue to think he won't have any serious loss until he's 40, or intervene and encourage him to take steps that could very plausibly help him hold onto his hair. And I'm not being flippant; that's a genuinely difficult choice. It's very difficult to predict how someone will lose their hair, but if he's experiencing noticeable crown and vertex thinning at 20, it's very, very likely that he will have fairly significant hair loss by the time he's 25 or 30. Everyone balds differently, but showing loss at his age doesn't bode well. Your position is difficult because the condition doesn't bother him, but it doesn't bother him because he's under an impression that's probably false. A lot of folks will say leave him be and let him enjoy his 20s, but there's a good chance that he would be upset to find out, ten years later, that someone knew differently and could have intervened to help him keep his hair for a longer time.

There isn't a great "cure" for hair loss, but there are treatments that can frequently help guys hold onto hair for a significantly longer time. Propecia is a prescription medication that inhibits production of DHT, a form of testosterone that causes hair loss in men with male pattern balding. It's effective in the vast majority of guys, and has a very small incidence of side effects (although the frequency of side effects is hotly debated). Propecia is, far and away, the best treatment ever developed for male hair loss. Rogaine is topically applied and could help your son regrow hair; it's most effective on the crown, which is where he has loss. If he got on these treatments now, it could save lots of his hair during the coming years. Neither of these treatments prevent hair loss entirely, and nature will eventually take its course, but they may buy him years of having hair on his head, which may help him benefit from new treatments that are in development.

My advice would be to think carefully about your son, and whether he's the type of person that would be deeply affected by losing his hair at a young age. If he is, it may be worth puncturing his bubble to intervene. There are many men on this forum who desperately wish that they had had the wherewithall to treat their hair loss at an earlier age.

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## muchtooyoung

I realize my comment about my husband's flawed genes is irrational, possibly bitter and hopefully fleeting, but can't we just let it all out here?

I'd like to clarify that the fact that a guy was bald never even registered with me in the past - I really never noticed it nor did I particularly think  negatively about it.  That was before it began happening to my 20 year old kid!  Once my kid realizes this is happening to him now and not at age 40, I know that he'll be so pained and that pains me.

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## john2399

Get your son on propecia asap and talk to him about it. The last thing you want is to get a ignorant college girl mention his bald spot in front of other people and thats the way he finds out. It sucks but hopefully better treatments are around the corner. Look into histogen and read up.

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## win200

> I realize my comment about my husband's flawed genes is irrational, possibly bitter and hopefully fleeting, but can't we just let it all out here?
> 
> I'd like to clarify that the fact that a guy was bald never even registered with me in the past - I really never noticed it nor did I particularly think  negatively about it.  That was before it began happening to my 20 year old kid!  Once my kid realizes this is happening to him now and not at age 40, I know that he'll be so pained and that pains me.


 I know; like I said, a tough situation. I don't have children, but I empathize with this predicament; leave him in blissful ignorance, or perhaps cause him alarm but help him take steps that will make him happier in the future. If it helps you make up your mind, I would point out that his shedding is apparently advancing very quickly; if you were noticing new thinning between November and December, then his loss may be aggressive. Extensive hair loss before 25 is not the norm, but it is not rare among men who have MPB. Look at the Norwood chart that I've included below; it's impossible for me or anyone here to predict how he'll bald, but if he's losing hair aggressively at his age, it's not outlandish to think that he could end up at a NW4-5 in the next few years. (I'm also not saying that's the LIKELY outcome; I just don't know.)

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=...9QEwAA&dur=320

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## muchtooyoung

Thank you, Win200 and others, for your posts.  I looked at the Norwood scale and my son doesn't match any of the pictures.  His front hairline is normal but there is definite thinning at the crown and halfway going forward at the top of his head.  His late uncle and cousin were/are a 7, the most severe type of balding.  I think I'm going have to tell him within the next 4-5months (when he'll be home next) that I see some additional thinning and lay his options out for him.  That will be the end of his "innocence" - I know him and he won't handle it well - what 20 year old would??  I guess I'm in a bit of disbelief - as a parent you worry about everything, but this is one thing that never, ever entered my mind.

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## win200

Not a problem. I think you're doing the right thing, although others probably disagree. Hair loss itself isn't a medical problem, but the accompanying psychological distress can take a huge toll, particularly on very young men.

A few things:

1. The Norwood scale isn't ironclad. People bald in different patterns; it's just a rough guide of the most frequent ones. Some people do lose hair in the crown for a long time without experiencing hairline recession. Most balding does begin in the hairline, but not all. What your son is experiencing isn't unusual.

2. Read lots. This forum is a great resource, and there are others as well. Exploring William Rassman's blog, at www.baldingblog.com, is a good starting place. Rassman is a hair transplant surgeon in LA, and although people have varying opinions of him here, he was a pioneer of a number of the widely used modern surgery techniques for hair transplant, and has been an important figure in the hair replacement field. His tone is a little glib sometimes, but the blog is easily searchable and was where I first started exploring this topic.

3. Your family doctor is not the person to turn to. General practitioners usually know little to nothing about hair loss, except the very basics: DHT sensitivity, prescribe Propecia, recommend minoxidil. They won't be able to answer more nuanced questions with knowledge, and are very likely to give incorrect answers. Dermatologists are marginally better, but many are also pretty ignorant. I recently had a dermatologist tell me that Rogaine is only effective in 30% of men, and Propecia only works for 50% of men. I don't know where those numbers came from, but they're completely and patently incorrect. Dermatologists usually deal with skin cancer and cosmetic issues, and they don't tend to know much about genetic hair loss; they better for things like scalp inflammation. The best place to turn to is actually a hair transplant surgeon. I know that sounds alarming, but you don't have to go to one just to get a transplant (and your son is far too young, anyway). These are the medical professionals who deal with hair loss and treatment far, far more than anyone else. They're the most knowledgeable, and they'll give the fewest wrong answers. Most would be happy to consult with your son, take a look at his hair, and give him some straight answers, even if he's not looking at a transplant. The IAHRS is a consumer advocacy group that endorses transplant surgeons, and they only rubber-stamp the best. If you have one in your area, that would be the best place to take your son for really top-notch advice. If you're not near an IAHRS surgeon, look on the ISHRS website (similar acronyms, totally different organizations). Because your son isn't actually getting a surgery, their surgical skill really isn't that important; a non-IAHRS surgeon will still be extremely knowledgeable. I've been to three surgeons, and all were incredibly nice, thoughtful guys, even when they knew I probably wasn't going to be a customer.

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## ravegrover

Well, its understandable for mothers to worry. My mother was heart-broken too when I started to lose my hair at age of 18. That was 20 years ago though. There was'nt much awareness back then so she ended up blaming me. Said my experimenting with gels, shampoos or wearing hats led to this. 

Now, there is much known and, thankfully, hairloss can be treated. Your son is just 20 so I would encourage you to take him to doctor and get him on Finasteride (Propecia).

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## Ktownmatti

It's nice that you don't want to upset your son and protect his innocence.  However, just like any other problem in life ignoring the problem doesn't help one bit.  Especially in this case when the earlier you address the problem the greater the likelihood of a favourable outcome. 

  90 percent of all men who take propecia will experience no further hair loss.  There will likely be some much better treatments/therapies in the next several years so propecia is not a life long sentance.

IMO you have two choices:

Be proactive and upset him a little now and attempt to solve he problem or;

Put your heads in the sand and have him be VERY upset in a couple years when it's too late or him to have a full head of hair.

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## Kayman

> I'm the Mother of a 20 year old boy who is going bald!!  I noticed it a bit over the summer on the back crown area but didn't say anything.  When he was home from college over Thanksgiving though, he said he's noticing thinning at the crown but wasn't hugely concerned as he thinks he'll be 40 before it gets really going.  The unbelievable thing is that he's home now for Christmas and I think it's now thinning not just in the back, but now progressing to the middle of his top head - how can this have advanced so in just a month?!  I'm just sick over this - he's just too young and he's such a good kid -I don't want to have him suffer with this at this age. I come from a long line of full-haired men but my husband's brother and his son went very bald early, and I have to think that this is where it came from.  This is messed-up thinking but I'm almost angry with my husband for passing this on - my other son also has another type of problem that my husband's family has and I at least thought this boy would be safe from the flawed genetics, but very unfortunately not.  I haven't said anything to my son as I don't want to worry him and I know it greatly would.  I'm thinking I should bring him to a dermatologist for a confirmation and then maybe get him on rogaine.  He makes his own decisions but I would say propecia is a last resort.  I'm not wealthy but nothing is more important to me than the well-being of my kids, so I'm prepared to pay for a hair transplant down the road if he wants it.  I realize this isn't a horrible illness, but the mental effects on such a young person can be just as devastating.  Any suggestions or words of wisdom??


 Dont be devastated for him, just be supportive. If he see's its upsetting you it could make him feel bad. It's not flawed genetics, its just genetics and its normal. there is no cure for male pattern baldness, it doesn't exist. You can delay or slow down the loss with the following treatments, minoxidil which you apply topically twice a day, finasteride which you take one tablet a day, and nizoral which is a shampoo that you use about twice a week. These are treatments, not cures, they are more about retaining what you have. The finasteride can have side effects in some guys such as low libido, erectile dysfunction, anxiety, depression, affected memory etc, these affect a small percentage of men but it does happen and there are forums where people still suffer the sides after they cease taking the pill. Your dermatologist or doctor will re affirm what I've just said. 
The hair transplant route is very very pricey road to go down running into tens of thousands of dollars. Its not a case of one transplant and everything is fixed, its a case of multiple surgerys over time because more hair will fall out in the future and more transplanted hair will be needed to take its place, it also leaves scarring in the donor area from where the hair was taken depending on the method used. So if in the future your son decides he wants to buzz his hair off he will have scars to show for the transplants.
How does your son feel about it? Because it seems a little like you are more upset than he is, is it something that really bothers him? Or is he the kind of guy who's happy enough to buzz his hair short and get on with life? 

I started losing my hair when I was 20. I went through the treatments of minoxidil, propecia, looked into surgery etc but in my experience all it really did was inhibit me from accepting myself for who I was and moving on, for a decade I was just constantly worried about my hair and taking propecia and minoxidil and checking to see how much hair I had lost and checking the meds were still working and it just made me insecure. Instead of "bald" jokes you just get "balding" jokes instead. I dropped the treatments because after a while they lose effectiveness and looking back I wish I had just accepted it from the start like I do now.
I've said it before, its much less stressful and so much better to be a bald man in control than an insecure man trying to fight against his genetics. In the long run your son will just need to accept it so he will need to cross that bridge sooner or later. There is no reason he cant by happy even with hair loss. A lot of people who cant let it go think its the end of the world and they make themselves miserable as a result when all they need to do is accept who they are and move on.
Im not saying it wont be tough for him, but what I am saying is, at the end of the day when he accepts who he is, he's going to be just fine. Its better to be the bald guy who's smiling instead of the insecure guy who's looking at his shoes.

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## Pate

> I've said it before, its much less stressful and so much better to be a bald man in control than an insecure man trying to fight against his genetics...
> 
> Im not saying it wont be tough for him, but what I am saying is, at the end of the day when he accepts who he is, he's going to be just fine. Its better to be the bald guy who's smiling instead of the insecure guy who's looking at his shoes.


 This is the best advice out there. 

I'll just say the following:

1. When/if you speak to him, please don't act like it's a big deal - certainly don't let him know how devastated you are. Hair loss is only half the problem. The other half, and arguably the much more important half, is how he feels about it. Particularly in the early stages of his hair loss his assumptions about his condition won't be set in the stone and they are open to change, especially since he's still only just out of his teens. As Kayman said it's better to be okay with one's situation, no matter what it is. So help him be okay with it!

2. If you do speak to him and he wants to do something about it, don't delay. It is *absolutely critical* to tackle hairloss as soon as possible. Once hair is gone, it's probably gone for good (unless the new generation of treatments work better than they appear to work so far). Get on Rogaine or Propecia, or preferably both.

3. It sounds like what your son has is a type of balding called 'persistent hairline' where his hairline is staying intact. This could be good news because the hairline is normally the hardest to treat. Propecia and Rogaine both work much better in the crown. If you tackle it early there is a good chance that he could even regrow some or much of the hair he has lost. 

4. You said you never noticed whether a guy was balding before (thank you for this btw - there are a lot of idiots on this forum who like to insist balding is a deal-breaker for every woman). You should take this attitude to your son and generalise it - point out it's not such a big deal and most women won't worry/care. Obviously some do, many clearly don't (my own girlfriend among them) and this will help him avoid some of the worst mental anguish associated with balding - that it somehow means a guy will never get a girlfriend ever again.

My own mother fussed about my hairloss so badly when I didn't even care in the slightest, when I was about 22 and she first noticed my hair receding. Now I'm 31 and quite bald and, worse, I care about it, in part because my own mother acted like it was a big deal when I didn't think it was. She bought me Rogaine without my even asking for it and then kept asking me if I was using it.

Now that I'm almost bald my mother has changed her tune and tells me she never cared about my father's baldness and that other women won't either. Thanks Mum, but it's too late now! The damage was done in my early 20s, and now I am very self-conscious about it.

Thankfully my girlfriend doesn't seem to be, and I am so grateful I have her - but please don't make the same mistake my mother did!

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## AFye

> Well, it's her son, not a potential romantic interest. Mothers scrutinize their sons differently; they notice things others don't. I still think most guys with hair loss vastly overestimate the degree to which most (not all, but MOST) women care about or even notice hair loss. I mentioned my brother's hair loss to my ex-wife the other day, who sees him reasonably frequently, and she had no idea what I was talking about--she literally hadn't notice. And he's a NW3 *at best.*


 No it just shows how women really feel about hairloss. They hate it.

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## ChrisM

In my opinion your attention to this and bringing it up to him  will make him feel self conscious and more than likely uncomfortable. If you have noticed it it is a good chance that he has as well if he has been looking into a mirror lately. My best advice would be to be as supportive as possible and to be tactful.

Also it is a scientific fact that both sexes pass and indirectly activate and trigger the baldness gene not  just one. Though in his paternal line baldness runs through that line as a male with XY chromosone.. your matrilineal genes are in him as well and it is the pairing of both the dominant  bald gene and recessive traits and yours perhaps being the trigger pull that have potentially activated the baldness. It is a 50/50 shot a genetic lottery..two boys can be born from the same family and one can have a full head of hair and the other brother conceviably go bald before 30 years old it is just random like that. However now is not the time to blame your husband, yourself or anyone else for that matter.. it is time to be there for your son and to seek answers for him should he ask them of you.. and constructive ones that are well resrched at that.

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## Artista

You can 'let it all out here' but you must also be accepting of honest rebuttal as well. 
" I'm almost angry with my husband for passing this on"
".. my husband's flawed genes.."

Hair loss skips generations on BOTH SIDES. You cannot absolutely connect or BLAME THIS  solely to your husband and his genes. That is unfair and almost sounding disrespectful.   
That hair loss to your son may have also been brought on by your side of the family  too. 
That should not be the focus anyway.. Your son's hair loss is why your here and you are at the right forum to ,not only get great advice for him, but also to dispel misconceptions about hair loss.

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## didi

very interesting thread

amazes me how women dont care if their bf/husband is bald but get so devastated if their son goes bald...i mean logic would tell you if you marry someone who is bald chances are that your son will be bald too...

is it just that females mind cant join the dots? if im to mary women who has serious mental illness i would anticipate my offsprings would have big chance to have the same  illness, you kinda accept the risk n when it happens you are already prepared??anyone agrees with this

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## Exodus

> In my opinion your attention to this and bringing it up to him  will make him feel self conscious and more than likely uncomfortable. If you have noticed it it is a good chance that he has as well if he has been looking into a mirror lately. My best advice would be to be as supportive as possible and to be tactful.
> 
> Also it is a scientific fact that both sexes pass and indirectly activate and trigger the baldness gene not  just one. Though in his paternal line baldness runs through that line as a male with XY chromosone.. your matrilineal genes are in him as well and it is the pairing of both the dominant  bald gene and recessive traits and yours perhaps being the trigger pull that have potentially activated the baldness. It is a 50/50 shot a genetic lottery..two boys can be born from the same family and one can have a full head of hair and the other brother conceviably go bald before 30 years old it is just random like that. However now is not the time to blame your husband, yourself or anyone else for that matter.. it is time to be there for your son and to seek answers for him should he ask them of you.. and constructive ones that are well resrched at that.


 
Im the youngest of three brothers. Number 1 has perfect hair, mature hairline. Number 2 mass recession and thinning. Me, I've maintained my hairline somewhat, but diffuse all over the crown/top/vertex of my head. Baldness most likely comes from my Mothers side as my grandad and uncle are bald, yet on my dads they're full of thick luscious black velvety hair.

Various approaches really for your son, but it could be super awkward raising it with him...

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## Aames

Flawed genetics? Perhaps you should start a revolutionary eugenics or genocide group that could wipe the bald fascists off the face of the earth for good.

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## Assemblage23

just waiting for Highlander to reply

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## win200

> just waiting for Highlander to reply


 I'm sure he'll have a restrained, thoughtful, cautious word of wisdom to offer.

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## clandestine

Propecia has the potential for sexually related side effects; research these thoroughly before committing. It's discouraging that most members have neglected to mention this.

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## mpb47

> Well, it's her son, not a potential romantic interest. Mothers scrutinize their sons differently; they notice things others don't. I still think most guys with hair loss vastly overestimate the degree to which most (not all, but MOST) women care about or even notice hair loss. I mentioned my brother's hair loss to my ex-wife the other day, who sees him reasonably frequently, and she had no idea what I was talking about--she literally hadn't notice. And he's a NW3 *at best.*


 +100 on this^^^

A friend at work was interested in dating me about 2 years ago. Not that I was not interested, but I was simply too physically sick at the time to have a relationship.  The point is she was interested in me even though I am quite sure she knows I have mpb if for no other reason because she started asking me about it a few months ago. And it was for the very same reason this women is here. Her son (26) lives out of state and she had not seen him for a good while and was shocked that he had lost noticeable hair. She thought he was way too young for mpb so I asked her where had he lost hair. She indicated with her fingers that his hairline had gone back and his crown was getting thin. She later showed me before and after photos and it was clearly aggressive mpb. 

I told her it was almost certainly mpb and no he was plenty old enough for it.
I described the 2 treatments available and left it to her if she should act in the info. In her case, her son already has a lot going for him including a long term girlfriend so he may not even care one bit.

muchtooyoung: How does your son feel about? I think you really need to find out before you push treatments on him. OTOH, if he does care, then it is best to catch it early and not wait to long. I think it is good you want to be helpful. ...when my mom's hairdresser mentioned I might have it, my mom was in denial probably because I was only 14-15 at the time.

Best of luck!

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## win200

> +100 on this^^^


 Thanks! It's amazing to me how some posters here absolutely insist that even a hint of hair loss is kryptonite to women. It's just not. Women don't typically experience hair loss, and they don't even really know what it looks like until it's taken a huge toll on a man's hair. It's not even that they don't mind it; they just don't even see it most of the time. 

I was on FB the other day, and I noticed how many of my female friends from high school are now married to guys with extensive hair loss. And these are attractive, smart, successful women. I guess that vapid women without much intelligence or personality might be more sensitive to hair loss, but who cares about them? 

If you want to believe that your hair loss will kill your chances with women, fine, believe that. But it won't.

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## Kayman

> No it just shows how women really feel about hairloss. They hate it.


 So what are you saying? That she'll now think less of her son because he's losing hair? This is a completely different situation its a mother concerned for her sons mental well being not a woman who's finding her partner less attractive due to hair loss.

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## win200

> So what are you saying? That she'll now think less of her son because he's losing hair? This is a completely different situation its a mother concerned for her sons mental well being not a woman who's finding her partner less attractive due to hair loss.


 Exactly. It's an apples-and-oranges comparison.

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## mpb47

> Thanks! It's amazing to me how some posters here absolutely insist that even a hint of hair loss is kryptonite to women. It's just not. Women don't typically experience hair loss, and they don't even really know what it looks like until it's taken a huge toll on a man's hair. It's not even that they don't mind it; they just don't even see it most of the time. 
> 
> I was on FB the other day, and I noticed how many of my female friends from high school are now married to guys with extensive hair loss. And these are attractive, smart, successful women. I guess that vapid women without much intelligence or personality might be more sensitive to hair loss, but who cares about them? 
> 
> If you want to believe that your hair loss will kill your chances with women, fine, believe that. But it won't.


 Not at all, this women was clearly interested in me...I am normally very clueless about taking hints but in this case she was inviting over to her house over the holidays and inviting me to lunch often.
And she is no dog ether. She is normally very conservative, but at our Christmas party, strictly by accident, I got to see what she normally hides very well  :Smile: 

But with her son it is a different matter- that is maternal instinct at work and nothing wrong with it.

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## mpb47

> Exactly. It's an apples-and-oranges comparison.


 It's maternal instinct - and it is a good thing else we may not be here  :Smile: 

In my example the woman was also concerned because he had cancer as a child and she thought the loss may be due to residue from all the drugs he had to take.

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## Pate

> Originally Posted by Assemblage23
> 
> 
> just waiting for Highlander to reply
> 
> 
>  I'm sure he'll have a restrained, thoughtful, cautious word of wisdom to offer.


 That is, without doubt, the best post I have ever read on BTT.

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## jgold

Research propecia before you have your son take it. I'm 20 and I wouldn't suggest him to get on it, even though it's really the only thing that will truly help.

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## sighsigh

Well, I'm going to give you my perspective as a male who just turned 21.

1. I'd be really, really surprised if your son isn't extremely concerned about his own balding. He’s clearly noticed it, and he probably noticed it a long time before commenting about it to you. Losing hair is a traumatizing experience for men. Especially a young man who wants to pursue his romantic options. 

2. He most likely doesn't feel comfortable talking about his hairloss problem with you, because it is a personal issue that is emasculating. When I first noticed some hair loss I didn't talk to my mother at all about it for this reason, even though we are close. I did everything myself: doing the research, going to the doctor, and paying for the mediciation. Nobody currently knows I'm on it. 

3. I'd say the best thing you can do is tell your son that you will support him 100&#37; if he decides to tackle hair loss. Tell him you will drive him to the doctor, pay for the medication, or whatever. He will appreciate that, even if he doesn’t feel comfortable talking about hairloss with you in any sort of detail.

Btw, I personally recommend finasteride. I've been on it about 6 months with no side effects.

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## Assemblage23

I dont fully agree with what the previous poster said, he might still be in denial I didnt accept I was going to become bald until I went past NW2 and I sure am not the only one

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## muchtooyoung

Wow - I'm surprised my rambling post has generated this much interest.  I truly mean it when I say that I never noticed if a guy had hair before - - I really just noticed their face/body/dress/general way they present themselves.  I don't find bald men unattractive - a guy isn't about his hair, and I'll convey this to my son when the time comes.  I'm crushed for him though because he's too damn young to be dealing with this and because I know he'll be so pained by it.  As a Mother, you don't want your kid to suffer any kind of pain.  He's my baby and I'll probably be protective of him until I die.  If he were okay with being bald, I'd be okay BUT I KNOW HE WON'T BE based on a question I asked him when he first brought it to my attention in November.  I asked him how he'd feel if he lost his hair in his 20s and he said it would be the worst thing possible.  Based on what I read on this site, I'm not a fan of propecia but everyone except one said to get him on it - - I don't recall the name of the 20 year old who said don't take it but if he's reading this, why??  I'm going to educate myself and calmly, nonjudgementally lay it out for my son when he's home next, even if I'm sick about it inside...

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## Kayman

> Wow - I'm surprised my rambling post has generated this much interest.  I truly mean it when I say that I never noticed if a guy had hair before - - I really just noticed their face/body/dress/general way they present themselves.  I don't find bald men unattractive - a guy isn't about his hair, and I'll convey this to my son when the time comes.  I'm crushed for him though because he's too damn young to be dealing with this and because I know he'll be so pained by it.  As a Mother, you don't want your kid to suffer any kind of pain.  He's my baby and I'll probably be protective of him until I die.  If he were okay with being bald, I'd be okay BUT I KNOW HE WON'T BE based on a question I asked him when he first brought it to my attention in November.  I asked him how he'd feel if he lost his hair in his 20s and he said it would be the worst thing possible.  Based on what I read on this site, I'm not a fan of propecia but everyone except one said to get him on it - - I don't recall the name of the 20 year old who said don't take it but if he's reading this, why??  I'm going to educate myself and calmly, nonjudgementally lay it out for my son when he's home next, even if I'm sick about it inside...


 It will be because of the side effects. What propecia does is it effects hormones in the system and the side effects can consist of erectile dysfunction, watery semen, reduced ejaculation, lower libido, anxiety, depression, brain fog, not everyone gets these sides although there are cases of even after the medicine is stopped the side effects continue, there is a forum for those who continue to suffer the sides long after they stopped taking the drug. It is however the best possible treatment against hair loss. Your son will have to stop taking the drug temporarily if he tries to have kids with his partner in the future. That being said some people don't suffer side effects at all or at least don't notice that they do.
Like I said before, if he's losing hair it will one day go, treatments or no treatments, and surgery imo is not a route to go down due to cost of multiple surgeries and scarring. Hair loss isn't the end of the world, its just a fact of life. If he shaves his head tell him it suits him, he looks sharp, thats what he should continue to do. After I bought a set of clippers all my troubles and anxietys simply disappeared :Big Grin:

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## Marshmalo

I think the question you need to ask is whether or not your son actually cares enough to do anything about it? 

My brother started going bald at 20 and my mum tried to help him out by buying Regain but he just didn't really care, some guys don't even care their going bald which is fine for them. 

I'm obviously not one of those guys, hence why I'm here.

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## BigThinker

> Flawed genetics? Perhaps you should start a revolutionary eugenics or genocide group that could wipe the bald fascists off the face of the earth for good.


 Haha.  Right?  I'm sure the husband would appreciate that.

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## 35YrsAfter

> I'm the Mother of a 20 year old boy who is going bald!!  I noticed it a bit over the summer on the back crown area but didn't say anything.  When he was home from college over Thanksgiving though, he said he's noticing thinning at the crown but wasn't hugely concerned as he thinks he'll be 40 before it gets really going.  The unbelievable thing is that he's home now for Christmas and I think it's now thinning not just in the back, but now progressing to the middle of his top head - how can this have advanced so in just a month?!  I'm just sick over this - he's just too young and he's such a good kid -I don't want to have him suffer with this at this age. I come from a long line of full-haired men but my husband's brother and his son went very bald early, and I have to think that this is where it came from.  This is messed-up thinking but I'm almost angry with my husband for passing this on - my other son also has another type of problem that my husband's family has and I at least thought this boy would be safe from the flawed genetics, but very unfortunately not.  I haven't said anything to my son as I don't want to worry him and I know it greatly would.  I'm thinking I should bring him to a dermatologist for a confirmation and then maybe get him on rogaine.  He makes his own decisions but I would say propecia is a last resort.  I'm not wealthy but nothing is more important to me than the well-being of my kids, so I'm prepared to pay for a hair transplant down the road if he wants it.  I realize this isn't a horrible illness, but the mental effects on such a young person can be just as devastating.  Any suggestions or words of wisdom??


 I began noticing my own hair loss when i was 15!  There are far more options for young men dealing with this today.  Another plus in today's culture is a wider acceptance of bald men.  I have a friend who is a Norwood 6 who just shaves his head.  He knows I work for Dr. Cole and has no interest in doing anything about his hair loss.  I have never known anyone in my life, hair or no hair more popular with women either.  To me the bottom line is how hair loss affects individual men.  To some it feels like a death sentence, to others it's mildly annoying and to a few it's a non-issue.  To me it was like the end of my life, so I went the hair restoration surgery route.  Unfortunately the technology back then was poor and my result looked unnatural. There have been great advancements in the slowing of hair loss and I have a gut feeling a near cure is right around the corner.  Please try to encourage your son.  I survived my own hair loss beginning at 15.  I have a great family and I'm mostly a positive and happy person.

35YrsAfter works at Dr. Cole's office in Alpharetta, GA

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## tgajr

There is no need to be devastated about any of this.  

Its whats inside a man's head that counts not whats on it!

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## lalala

> There is no need to be devastated about any of this.  
> 
> Its whats inside a man's head that counts not whats on it!


 Yeah, and that's why you're posting on a HAIR LOSS FORUM

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## BigThinker

> Yeah, and that's why you're posting on a HAIR LOSS FORUM


 You can be concerned and proactive about your hairloss without being devastated by it, and discussing it on a hairloss forum doesn't necessarily equal devastation.

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## tgajr

> Yeah, and that's why you're posting on a HAIR LOSS FORUM


 Is there a better place to promote a positive outlook on being bald or not being DEVASTATED by it?

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## Aames

> Is there a better place to promote a positive outlook on being bald or not being DEVASTATED by it?


 Unless positivity can help me maintain my hair, I'm not interested.

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## lalala

> Is there a better place to promote a positive outlook on being bald or not being DEVASTATED by it?


 My point is you're a hypocrite. You're telling a guy who is depressed about his hair loss to not be depressed and maintain a positive outlook while, at the same time, you have gone so far as to set up an account and post on a hair loss forum yourself. I would be willing to bet that the reason you took that step is because you too were depressed about your hair loss. If you truly were positive about it you never would have wasted the time setting up an account here. You simply wouldn't care.

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## tgajr

> My point is you're a hypocrite. You're telling a guy who is depressed about his hair loss to not be depressed and maintain a positive outlook while, at the same time, you have gone so far as to set up an account and post on a hair loss forum yourself. I would be willing to bet that the reason you took that step is because you too were depressed about your hair loss. If you truly were positive about it you never would have wasted the time setting up an account here. You simply wouldn't care.


 I understand how you feel.  I will be the first to say if I could snap my fingers and have my hair back I would do it.  And yes I do miss it.  But I am only trying to get a true message across.  If someone is a good, decent, hard working person then there is little to be devastated about.  

My brother is autistic, but with lots of hair.  I am working on a PhD and am bald.  

Charles Manson has lots of hair, and look at whats inside his head.

Take your pick.  

Its whats in your head that counts, not whats on it!   

Attempting to reverse or deal with your hair loss is just fine, and understandable.  There is just no need for devastation.

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## jgold

The reason I said don't take propecia is because I think it is too risky and I wish I hadn't taken it. I took it because I started losing my hair at 17 and when 18 came around I couldn't handle it emotionally, so I took the risk. Propecia helped 100% to maintain and regrow significantly, but it decreased my sex drive so much I just couldn't be on it anymore. It not only decreased my drive to have sex, but the normal thoughts just weren't there, and I actually think it messed with my brain functioning - I know, kind of weird but scientifically speaking DHT plays a big role in a mans body and mind. I took it for about a 7 months then got off it for about 7 months then got on it for a year and now I'm off of it again. 

I am still completely devastated by my hair loss however Propecia was a dead end for me. I'm probably more devastated than most because I have a bit of BDD, but I only have it about my hairloss. A thing to note is that most people who take propecia are older and being so young and taking it I personally think is riskier and there is a far greater chance of it effecting you negatively. I think that the studies about it are bs when they say it's safe, in my personal opinion. 

I can't tell you what to do. I would say to stay away from propecia. I have tried to find something else that is effective, but I have failed. Hopefully your son will have the strength to not give a shit and not let this effect him. I apologize for the dismal response, but this is just my reality.

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## jgold

For the record, I totally recognize that it is very shallow for the hairloss to devastate me / anyone this much and all that truly matters is what is inside.

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## tgajr

> For the record, I totally recognize that it is very shallow for the hairloss to devastate me / anyone this much and all that truly matters is what is inside.


 Have you tried using minoxidil?

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## Kayman

> My point is you're a hypocrite. You're telling a guy who is depressed about his hair loss to not be depressed and maintain a positive outlook while, at the same time, you have gone so far as to set up an account and post on a hair loss forum yourself. I would be willing to bet that the reason you took that step is because you too were depressed about your hair loss. If you truly were positive about it you never would have wasted the time setting up an account here. You simply wouldn't care.


 How does that make anyone a hypocrite? If you have suffered or suffer MPB you have just as much right to discuss it on a hair loss forum as anyone else. I have MPB, I'm not depressed over it, I used to be a long time ago but I'm not depressed anymore I accept who I am it makes things much less stressful but I like to share my experiences and thoughts with those who have gone through or who are going through what I did. A little positivity never hurt anyone.

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## Kayman

> Unless positivity can help me maintain my hair, I'm not interested.


 You should be because once that hair is gone positivity will be all you have left.

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## jgold

yes i tried it for 5 months. i used the foam and it was just so frustrating to apply every day and it always dried weird making my scalp show on top. i did not notice it help at all so i quit.

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## Rootman

> yes i tried it for 5 months. i used the foam and it was just so frustrating to apply every day and it always dried weird making my scalp show on top. i did not notice it help at all so i quit.


 Have you tried thickening your hair with dermatch? That stuff has worked miracles for me... but it only works if you have some hair (however thin) to paint...

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## jgold

I'm not willing to paint my head. Thanks though.

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## ChrisM

> yes i tried it for 5 months. i used the foam and it was just so frustrating to apply every day and it always dried weird making my scalp show on top. i did not notice it help at all so i quit.


 Minoxidil does NOT  show results until even close to 6-8 months at the soonest for some individuals and upwards until about a year at the most for others. You quit far too early to see any results whatsoever. If you felt that  it was drying out your scalp you could have regulated this with a ketoconazole based shampoo.. since Nizoral is in shortened supply you might have tried Regenepure shampoo and its conditioner to moisturize your scalp.

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## Rootman

> I'm not willing to paint my head. Thanks though.


 I can respect that - It only works for some people...

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## baldozer

Excuse me, your son is not even Norwood 2 and you are worried. At age 20 I was almost completely bald. Like you, my mother was also very stressed out. Anyway, I think it was a blessing in disguise. It made me work harder in other areas of my life. Academically I did very well, I got a gold medal in my Bachelors, which I did in Electrical Engineering, which is among the toughest degree in the world. 

And baldness didn't hurt my looks either. People, both men and women used to say how handsome I was, even though I was bald. I met my wife through a family friend. She knew I was bald before I met her. She once told me that when she heard that I was bald, she thought I would be some ugly fat kind of guy, but she was very surprised when she saw me, as she didn't expect I would be that good looking. If you are handsome, you will be handsome even bald. So maybe its a blessing in disguise for your son too, as he may focus more on his career now. 

Look I became bald, but still I have a wife, a son and a daughter, what else do I need? Having said that I still hope my son himself doesn't become bald. My wife's father is 67 and has hair of a teenager, also her brothers have thick head of hair, so I hope my son has inherited from then rather than me  :Smile: !

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## Exodus

> Excuse me, your son is not even Norwood 2 and you are worried. At age 20 I was almost completely bald. Like you, my mother was also very stressed out. Anyway, I think it was a blessing in disguise. It made me work harder in other areas of my life. Academically I did very well, I got a gold medal in my Bachelors, which I did in Electrical Engineering, which is among the toughest degree in the world. 
> 
> And baldness didn't hurt my looks either. People, both men and women used to say how handsome I was, even though I was bald. I met my wife through a family friend. She knew I was bald before I met her. She once told me that when she heard that I was bald, she thought I would be some ugly fat kind of guy, but she was very surprised when she saw me, as she didn't expect I would be that good looking. If you are handsome, you will be handsome even bald. So maybe its a blessing in disguise for your son too, as he may focus more on his career now. 
> 
> Look I became bald, but still I have a wife, a son and a daughter, what else do I need? Having said that I still hope my son himself doesn't become bald. My wife's father is 67 and has hair of a teenager, also her brothers have thick head of hair, so I hope my son has inherited from then rather than me !


 Balding has forced me to get my arse into gear. Lose weight, get a better job, exercise more and generally be the person I've always wanted to be. Obviously hair would be great to retain, but in it's current form it looks like I have odd hay on my head!

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## baldozer

> Balding has forced me to get my arse into gear. Lose weight, get a better job, exercise more and generally be the person I've always wanted to be. Obviously hair would be great to retain, but in it's current form it looks like I have odd hay on my head!


 Amen to that brother!

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## baldozer

> I'm the Mother of a 20 year old boy who is going bald!!  I noticed it a bit over the summer on the back crown area but didn't say anything.  When he was home from college over Thanksgiving though, he said he's noticing thinning at the crown but wasn't hugely concerned as he thinks he'll be 40 before it gets really going.  The unbelievable thing is that he's home now for Christmas and I think it's now thinning not just in the back, but now progressing to the middle of his top head - how can this have advanced so in just a month?!  I'm just sick over this - he's just too young and he's such a good kid -I don't want to have him suffer with this at this age. I come from a long line of full-haired men but my husband's brother and his son went very bald early, and I have to think that this is where it came from.  This is messed-up thinking but I'm almost angry with my husband for passing this on - my other son also has another type of problem that my husband's family has and I at least thought this boy would be safe from the flawed genetics, but very unfortunately not.  I haven't said anything to my son as I don't want to worry him and I know it greatly would.  I'm thinking I should bring him to a dermatologist for a confirmation and then maybe get him on rogaine.  He makes his own decisions but I would say propecia is a last resort.  I'm not wealthy but nothing is more important to me than the well-being of my kids, so I'm prepared to pay for a hair transplant down the road if he wants it.  I realize this isn't a horrible illness, but the mental effects on such a young person can be just as devastating.  Any suggestions or words of wisdom??


 "but the mental effects on such a young person can be just as devastating". If that was true than people like Michael Jordan, Steve Balmer and thousands of successful bald men would have been failures in life, while guys like Ted Bundy and Richard Ramirez (famous serious killers) would have been sane because they sported full head of hair.

"and I at least thought this boy would be safe from the flawed genetics, but very unfortunately not".
So according to you Michael Jordan and the likes have flawed genetics, LOL! Why don't you post a picture of yours so that we can judge how much superior genes you have!

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## muchtooyoung

Your Michael Jordan, etal reply on each of these points is ignorant and actually doesn't even make a lot of sense.  Can you not relate to losing your hair at age 20 as gut-wrenching?  Not a 40+ year old man, a 20 year old kid!  And yes, I feel that it IS flawed genetics no matter whose side it comes from, or is it desirable in your opinion to go bald at 20??  Other than this, some very knowledgeable, supportive and helpful posts - thank you everyone.

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## Kayman

> Your Michael Jordan, etal reply on each of these points is ignorant and actually doesn't even make a lot of sense.  Can you not relate to losing your hair at age 20 as gut-wrenching?  Not a 40+ year old man, a 20 year old kid!  And yes, I feel that it IS flawed genetics no matter whose side it comes from, or is it desirable in your opinion to go bald at 20??  Other than this, some very knowledgeable, supportive and helpful posts - thank you everyone.


 Flawed genetics? I'd have to disagree, it's society's perception that makes people fear going bald, the general consensus that balding is a negative thing in terms of looks, but biologically it isn't a threat to your health or life, it has only become mentally damaging to some people and it is undesirable to go bald at age 20 due to the way some members of society look upon balding such as yourself by considering it to be flawed genetics, for instance if everyone in the world experienced baldness or culture saw it as a positive experience and it was desirable to go bald then nobody would call it flawed genetics. Something that is detrimental to your health due to your genes would be considered flawed genetics such as an illness you are born with. Male pattern baldness however is a natural and normal process that many millions of men in the world experience. The only reason that Baldness is a negative thing is because society has deemed it to be for no other reason than it isn't considered to be as aesthetically pleasing to some people. It's like the recent current trend of people pointing the finger at people with red hair, does that mean those with red hair are genetically flawed due to the modern day trend that ginger hair isn't as aesthetically pleasing as say brown? No, of course they aren't. It's the same with people who are losing hair, they aren't genetically better or worse than anyone else its just that parts of society have decided that their baldness doesn't look as good as hair. Now if there was a link made between male pattern baldness and illness then you could argue its flawed genetics.
It's not genetically abnormal to experience male pattern baldness. It's society's perception of it that's the problem.

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## baldozer

> Your Michael Jordan, etal reply on each of these points is ignorant and actually doesn't even make a lot of sense.  Can you not relate to losing your hair at age 20 as gut-wrenching?  Not a 40+ year old man, a 20 year old kid!  And yes, I feel that it IS flawed genetics no matter whose side it comes from, or is it desirable in your opinion to go bald at 20??  Other than this, some very knowledgeable, supportive and helpful posts - thank you everyone.


 In my opinion even if you are bald at 20, it is not flawed genetics. In my case it made me work harder on my career. I have a cousin who pretty much looks like me but had a full head of hair at 20. He is pretty much a failure in life, although he used to attract a lot of females. 

Don't worry, your son can still work hard on his career, have a wife and kids. So baldness would in no way affect him. It didn't affect me. If it was that bad, then why so many men are going bald. Why nature didn't phase that gene out. 

Perhaps you don't like baldness, but many women do. Otherwise why my wife married me when I was only 25 and bald? Even after 7 years of our marriage, she is still very much attracted to me, as she keep on asking for sex and I make excuses. Unless you were a model or looked like a model, you don't have perfect genes either, so stop ranting!

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## mpb47

> Your Michael Jordan, etal reply on each of these points is ignorant and actually doesn't even make a lot of sense.  Can you not relate to losing your hair at age 20 as gut-wrenching?  Not a 40+ year old man, a 20 year old kid!  And yes, I feel that it IS flawed genetics no matter whose side it comes from, or is it desirable in your opinion to go bald at 20??  Other than this, some very knowledgeable, supportive and helpful posts - thank you everyone.


 It sucks and is not fair but is probably more common than you realize. My friend at work could not believe her son was balding  due to mpb and really thought it must be something else and asked me if it could happen to men so soon. 

You should talk to to Tracy as she can explain it better than most of us.

Propecia is controversial...as I know too well, but if anything will save your son it will be it.. Knowing what I know now, if history repeated itself I would still go on it but at a reduced dose.

I lucked out that most of my mpb has been very very slow.. Today I saw a new pic of my friend's son and debated about suggesting propecia yet again as I noticed he is getting balder  pretty quickly.  I am not sure if women really understand or perceive how much guys dread it at my friend has very short hair yet it still very thick like what I had as a young teen.

Good luck!!!

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## muchtooyoung

A lot of time has passed since I've been on this forum and started this thread.  When my son was home from college last summer, I couldn't believe how much more hair he had lost just since that Christmas.  I explained what I was seeing, remained very nonjudgmental, laid out his options and asked what he liked to do.  He opted to try Propecia but stopped after only 2-3 weeks just due to bad side-effects (mostly sexual).  I then got him some Rogaine but he didn't start using it until mid-December.  I just saw him yesterday since he went back to school in January and his hair has SUBSTANTIALLY thickened on the application areas (entire top/back twice a day) - it's really incredible.  Will it last and for how long - I don't know.  He claims he's happy just buying some time for now as he was so upset with the prospect of baldness at an early age.  I was listening to a famous national cancer doctor (Dr. Agus? based in LA) and he claims that Propecia is absolutely horrible for you.  It may work for baldness but it's doing really bad things to the rest of you.  I hated it when my son was taking it.  So to those non-Propecia users, Rogaine alone (or the generic version) is definitely worth a try.  Good luck.

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## burtandernie

There is nothing to be said its part of life just like being short or any other genetic problem people face. Go see a derm or doctor about options since there are some treatments and go from there what else can you really do? I mean people get cancer everyday what comfort can you give them? Its not a curable problem its just part of life.

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## Jazz1

Word advice get him on a good shampoo like Revita or regenepure, I use both but regenpure DR and NT is way better. Leave it applied on scalp 10-15 mins DR and 5 minutes NT then use a good conditiner. He can kiss his hair good by because minoxidol alone will work temp but he will start to lose gains after a while. I know how propecia can effect Someone it's a big downfall iv had major sides on it but 3 years later I'm still using it  :Smile:  I always found a way to counter my major sides, one way is deffinatly less anxiety and stress mind control. But if he does not use propecia I really highly suggest he use a keto shampoo nizoral is junk regenepure is best, trust me it will help in everyway.

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## goldnt

Well it seems to me he might acutally just be suffering stress from college if he thickened very well with rogaine. I personally think the best way of stopping male pattern baldness would have to be a growth stimulator like rogaine combined with a dht inhibitor. If it get worse at any point consider dht inhiibtors like ru58841 and spiro which are actually topical and dont bring the side effects of propecia. And Jazz1 is right, get him on a keto shampoo like regenpure or revita. Ketoconazole(main active ingredient) is a weak anti fungal. But also has properties of a weak anti androgen. (dont expect miracles from a shampoo alone though)

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## fred970

Stress from college? Well it seems that no young man is suffering from this mysterious stress from college in my university then. All thick NW1 all around here in Brussels.

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## goldnt

well it might not be common but not everyones body can handle stress efficiently. I know this because ive had a friend who went through that. Besides its not like its something new though, heavy and long stress is known to cause hair loss. I for one when i have heavy stress i tend to shed more. I know as i take ru and i shed as if i dont have mpb.

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## Notcoolanymore

> I was listening to a famous national cancer doctor (Dr. Agus? based in LA) and he claims that Propecia is absolutely horrible for you.  It may work for baldness but it's doing really bad things to the rest of you.


 As a finasteride user, I thank you for this.

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## baldozer

> I realize my comment about my husband's flawed genes is irrational, possibly bitter and hopefully fleeting, but can't we just let it all out here?
> 
> I'd like to clarify that the fact that a guy was bald never even registered with me in the past - I really never noticed it nor did I particularly think  negatively about it.  That was before it began happening to my 20 year old kid!  Once my kid realizes this is happening to him now and not at age 40, I know that he'll be so pained and that pains me.


 You know what pisses me off is the thinking that baldness is an old man's disease. That is totally bullshit. Men with baldness gene, generally start balding in their teens, when their testosterone level is at its peak. If you don't have hairloss till 30, you won't ever go bald. I haven't ever seen a man with a full head of hair at 30 going bald later on. And you try to get advise on a forum whose members have the baldness gene, and then dare to say its a flawed gene. God, you are pathetic!

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## Hicks

Have you thought about PRP?  During my ground stomping to find a surgeon, Doctors or their office promoted PRP.  If you got the coin I would at least try this and document the process over the years.  They never promoted it as a regrowth but more as maintenance.  You might not think something is working till you stop.  Then it's game over.  Best of luck.

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## baldozer

> Dont be devastated for him, just be supportive. If he see's its upsetting you it could make him feel bad. It's not flawed genetics, its just genetics and its normal. there is no cure for male pattern baldness, it doesn't exist. You can delay or slow down the loss with the following treatments, minoxidil which you apply topically twice a day, finasteride which you take one tablet a day, and nizoral which is a shampoo that you use about twice a week. These are treatments, not cures, they are more about retaining what you have. The finasteride can have side effects in some guys such as low libido, erectile dysfunction, anxiety, depression, affected memory etc, these affect a small percentage of men but it does happen and there are forums where people still suffer the sides after they cease taking the pill. Your dermatologist or doctor will re affirm what I've just said. 
> The hair transplant route is very very pricey road to go down running into tens of thousands of dollars. Its not a case of one transplant and everything is fixed, its a case of multiple surgerys over time because more hair will fall out in the future and more transplanted hair will be needed to take its place, it also leaves scarring in the donor area from where the hair was taken depending on the method used. So if in the future your son decides he wants to buzz his hair off he will have scars to show for the transplants.
> How does your son feel about it? Because it seems a little like you are more upset than he is, is it something that really bothers him? Or is he the kind of guy who's happy enough to buzz his hair short and get on with life? 
> 
> I started losing my hair when I was 20. I went through the treatments of minoxidil, propecia, looked into surgery etc but in my experience all it really did was inhibit me from accepting myself for who I was and moving on, for a decade I was just constantly worried about my hair and taking propecia and minoxidil and checking to see how much hair I had lost and checking the meds were still working and it just made me insecure. Instead of "bald" jokes you just get "balding" jokes instead. I dropped the treatments because after a while they lose effectiveness and looking back I wish I had just accepted it from the start like I do now.
> I've said it before, its much less stressful and so much better to be a bald man in control than an insecure man trying to fight against his genetics. In the long run your son will just need to accept it so he will need to cross that bridge sooner or later. There is no reason he cant by happy even with hair loss. A lot of people who cant let it go think its the end of the world and they make themselves miserable as a result when all they need to do is accept who they are and move on.
> Im not saying it wont be tough for him, but what I am saying is, at the end of the day when he accepts who he is, he's going to be just fine. Its better to be the bald guy who's smiling instead of the insecure guy who's looking at his shoes.


 I totally agree with you. A man trying to cover up his baldness is just pretending to be someone which he is not. Baldness is nothing to be ashamed of. You are what you are.

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## burtandernie

Well I would just argue none of the existing treatments work that well period. You can try 40 different things or propecia but the fact is even with those over the years your probably still going to slowly keep balding.
Just need better treatments. CB 03 01 might make MPB history in a few years if it can stop MPB and a powerful enough AA certainly can. Its just a waiting game because some years from now MPB will be much less a problem then it is now

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## Thinning@30

The reality is that there is very little that can be done for hair loss in this day and age.  Your son can try finasteride and minoxidil, but they are stop loss measures at best.  They lose effectiveness over time, they don't work for everyone, and for some people, they can have terrible side effects.

If your son is destined to go bald, I think one of the key things you can do for him is to examine your own reactions to baldness.  You want to build his confidence not destroy his self esteem.  Do you ridicule men with hair loss?  If so, stop.  If you discuss hair loss at all, be careful not to make it sound like it is a terrible thing.  Talk about it like it's no big deal and just something that happens to most men as they get older.  If there are bald celebrities you find attractive, such as Patrick Stewart or Jason Statham, figure out ways to casually mention this in conversations in front of your son.  Better yet, do this with any bald men you know personally that you find attractive.  I think it will do your son a lot of good if the women in his life reinforce the message that "bald is beautiful," and not something to be ashamed of or something that will render him "damaged goods" in the eyes of women.  If he needs to lose weight or dress better, don't tell him this directly, but praise him when he does go to the gym or dresses well or does other things to improve his appearance.  For bald men, I think confidence is key.  You want to do whatever you can to build it up.

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## Notcoolanymore

Just make it a habit of going out with your son and whenever you see a bald guy, tell your son how hot you think that bald guy is.  

Joking, but on a serious note, the treatments we have today are not the best.  But they are something and for some they can work wonders.  Your son is going bald and I guarantee if you know it, he does, and by some of his comments that you have said he has made about it, he cares.  Make him a dermatologist appt. and let him discuss treatment options with a professional.  Your comment about the doctor that mentioned fin causes cancer, I am sure there are many more that would say that guy if full of it.  Take him to see a Dr. and let him make his own decision on whether he wants to treat his hair loss.  Being kind and acting like life will be ok might end up hurting him in the long run.

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## greatjob!

> Just make it a habit of going out with your son and whenever you see a bald guy, tell your son how hot you think that bald guy is.


 LOL, yeah the last thing I want to hear is my mom telling me how hot guys are

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## Vox

> Flawed genetics? I'd have to disagree, it's society's perception that makes people fear going bald, the general consensus that balding is a negative thing in terms of looks, but biologically it isn't a threat to your health or life


 Although your point about society's perception is right, it is old news that MPB is associated with increased risk for heart disease and prostate cancer. Whatever the link is between the two, MBP and heart/prostate disease, eliminating this plague at the genetic level (and not just restoring hair) should be set as one of the next goals in medicine. 

I cannot forget the poster that I saw many years ago in the consultation room of a cardiologist: it was about risk factors for heart disease and, among other things, it had the image of a miserable BALD (NW6+) middle aged man looking like 60+, tired and sad. I was in shock.  :EEK!:   :Frown:  The message of the poster was that if you go bald at younger age, you better start monitoring earlier the health of your heart.

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## Vox

> Perhaps you don't like baldness, but many women do.


 To say that *some* women do, I can understand. But many? This comes from nowhere. There is nothing to like about baldness aesthetics wise, although there are definitely some practical advantages in everyday life.

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## Vox

> Any suggestions or words of wisdom??


 You must already know that there is presently no cure, except the well-known bandage-like solutions discussed earlier. They may help; but then, they may not. 

However, talking about his psychological well-being, the best you can do is to encourage him to invest in a stable and long term relationship with a girl. The best time to do it is just around the end of his university studies. If he is involved in such a deeply gratifying relationship with the perspective of creating a family, he (and consequently you) will quickly forget anything about hair loss.

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## baldozer

> The reality is that there is very little that can be done for hair loss in this day and age.  Your son can try finasteride and minoxidil, but they are stop loss measures at best.  They lose effectiveness over time, they don't work for everyone, and for some people, they can have terrible side effects.
> 
> If your son is destined to go bald, I think one of the key things you can do for him is to examine your own reactions to baldness.  You want to build his confidence not destroy his self esteem.  Do you ridicule men with hair loss?  If so, stop.  If you discuss hair loss at all, be careful not to make it sound like it is a terrible thing.  Talk about it like it's no big deal and just something that happens to most men as they get older.  If there are bald celebrities you find attractive, such as Patrick Stewart or Jason Statham, figure out ways to casually mention this in conversations in front of your son.  Better yet, do this with any bald men you know personally that you find attractive.  I think it will do your son a lot of good if the women in his life reinforce the message that "bald is beautiful," and not something to be ashamed of or something that will render him "damaged goods" in the eyes of women.  If he needs to lose weight or dress better, don't tell him this directly, but praise him when he does go to the gym or dresses well or does other things to improve his appearance.  For bald men, I think confidence is key.  You want to do whatever you can to build it up.


 From what she has posted, she does think of baldness as something terrible and consider bald men as inferior. Nothing surprising here, as most women nowadays are fixated with looks and outer appearance. They spend all their lives trying to appear sexy.

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## baldozer

> Although your point about society's perception is right, it is old news that MPB is associated with increased risk for heart disease and prostate cancer. Whatever the link is between the two, MBP and heart/prostate disease, eliminating this plague at the genetic level (and not just restoring hair) should be set as one of the next goals in medicine. 
> 
> I cannot forget the poster that I saw many years ago in the consultation room of a cardiologist: it was about risk factors for heart disease and, among other things, it had the image of a miserable BALD (NW6+) middle aged man looking like 60+, tired and sad. I was in shock.   The message of the poster was that if you go bald at younger age, you better start monitoring earlier the health of your heart.


 Not true really. Another study suggested that bald men have lesser chance of getting prostrate cancer. And about heart diseases, only those bald men were at most risk who started balding from the crown. But if you compare every bald/balding men against all men with hair, the risks were the same. Secondly, there was also a study which suggested that prematurely balding guys could be the male equivalent of women with PCOS. But that was also debunked later on by another study. I don't have time to put the links of those studies here, but you can find those yourself by using google.

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## burtandernie

I feel like men with MPB in general, have higher androgen levels like more body hair. The higher androgens are bad for you long term part of why women live longer then men. Partly personal opinion but I dont think high androgens are a good thing even if they help your sex drive or make muscle easier to get.
The androgen link is huge though you can see everyday evidence of it. Most young bald men I know are abnormally hairy. I just dont think its all coincidence. If you value hair you want to lower all androgens as much as possible safely

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## baldozer

> I feel like men with MPB in general, have higher androgen levels like more body hair. The higher androgens are bad for you long term part of why women live longer then men. Partly personal opinion but I dont think high androgens are a good thing even if they help your sex drive or make muscle easier to get.
> The androgen link is huge though you can see everyday evidence of it. Most young bald men I know are abnormally hairy. I just dont think its all coincidence. If you value hair you want to lower all androgens as much as possible safely


 Yet I know many young bald men who can hardly grow a proper beard. So, what you are saying is not totally true. I myself have normal body hair. We make too many generalizations when talking about bald men, like for example, all of them are equivalent of females with PCOS, they are low in energy etc. while there have been top athletes like Michael Jordan and Andre Agassi who went prematurely bald.

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## DepressedByHairLoss

I actually commend this mother for doing what she is doing.  Although some people can live their lives accepting their baldness, it is absolutely devastating for others (myself included).  She is not looking down upon people with hair loss.  She knows that hair loss can be devastating for many men and she loves her son so much that she does not want to see him experience this devastation, particularly at such a young age.  She is trying to be proactive with her son, something that I wish that I would have done as soon as hair loss manifested itself in me.  Hell, there were years where I didn't notice hair loss on myself yet I'm sure other people did.  And I wish that they would have so I could've started treating it as soon as possible.

Baldozer, I respect your opinions though because you practice what you preach.  You're not one of these people with such minimal hair loss that preaches for people with extensive hair loss to get on with their lives.  That's almost like some one who does not suffer from hair loss telling an extensive hair loss sufferer how to live their lives.  They cannot fathom what it is like to be in their shoes since they have never experienced it for themselves.

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## burtandernie

> Yet I know many young bald men who can hardly grow a proper beard. So, what you are saying is not totally true. I myself have normal body hair. We make too many generalizations when talking about bald men, like for example, all of them are equivalent of females with PCOS, they are low in energy etc. while there have been top athletes like Michael Jordan and Andre Agassi who went prematurely bald.


 Yeah I am over generalizing for sure, but most of the cases seems to be true. Its always been a sensitivity issue so someone with low androgen levels can still go bald but you also have to consider the speed. Higher androgens I would guess means faster rate of balding most of the time. I am just saying in most cases I see its true they are much hairier then most men their age. That is just what I see and you can always point out people that are not but they could be the minority. There are always exceptions to poorly understood things like this
If a guy can barely grow a beard and has little/no chest hair or body hair I would argue they are balding very slowly unless they say took steroids or made a major change to androgen levels.

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## mpb47

> Yeah I am over generalizing for sure, but most of the cases seems to be true. Its always been a sensitivity issue so someone with low androgen levels can still go bald but you also have to consider the speed. Higher androgens I would guess means faster rate of balding most of the time. I am just saying in most cases I see its true they are much hairier then most men their age. That is just what I see and you can always point out people that are not but they could be the minority. There are always exceptions to poorly understood things like this
> If a guy can barely grow a beard and has little/no chest hair or body hair I would argue they are balding very slowly unless they say took steroids or made a major change to androgen levels.


 There seems to be a connection, but like the other poster said, it is not always true.  I  would say I have average chest hair, but early/heavy beard and would rate my mpb as early, yet very slow. But one of my cousins can't grow a beard yet he has early fairly aggressive balding.

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## Notcoolanymore

> She is trying to be proactive with her son, something that I wish that I would have done as soon as hair loss manifested itself in me.  Hell, there were years where I didn't notice hair loss on myself yet I'm sure other people did.  And I wish that they would have so I could've started treating it as soon as possible.


 This 100%.  I wish someone would have been proactive with me.  My mom, uncle, anybody who could have helped would have saved me much grief.  If you have seen my before pics, you would probably ask: "how the hell did you not notice your hair was that bad!", but I didn't.  If somebody would have just pulled me aside years ago and said: "This might offend you but you are losing a bunch of hair", it could have made a huge difference in my appearance.  I might have been embarrased, but I would have been grateful, they were trying to look out for me.  

I have a younger brother and if he starts to lose his hair, I will let him know what his options are.

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## joely

> This 100%.  I wish someone would have been proactive with me.  My mom, uncle, anybody who could have helped would have saved me much grief.  If you have seen my before pics, you would probably ask: "how the hell did you not notice your hair was that bad!", but I didn't.  If somebody would have just pulled me aside years ago and said: "This might offend you but you are losing a bunch of hair", it could have made a huge difference in my appearance.  I might have been embarrased, but I would have been grateful, they were trying to look out for me.  
> 
> I have a younger brother and if he starts to lose his hair, I will let him know what his options are.


 Im the same I did not recognise I was loosing hair until I was about NW4 and I don't know how, Like you I wish some one had told me earlier!

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## Luthien

Hi Much Too Young, I have no idea if ull see this or not but thought Id try. I see ur post is 6 years old. I am a mom of a 19 year old young man losing his hair and I am devistated for him. Was wondering if we might be able to text/talk ? Please lmk if that might be possible thank you so much!

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## Lily0073

my son is 2 years old, he began to grow bald in a lobby is frequent the heads. It is strong! What to do? To what doctor to show? Help please council

Somebody addressed to this clinic of http://www.alopeciacure.com/? What do you think whether can correctly appoint treatment if to consult online?

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## Ghost315

I see this thread was started almost exactly at the same time that I first started noticing I was going bald.  Trust me, I understand the "anger" at your husband for passing this down to your son.  The part about going bald early is what started me down the path of thinking that I want to avoid having biological children.  I was 22 when I found out and trust me, going bald THAT early definitely ruins what are supposed to be the best years of your life, and I could never knowingly put my son/grandson through something like that.  Of course, now there are other genetic things I don't want to pass on, but none of them are health related, all cosmetic.  All things considered, I'm not a bad looking guy, especially with the amount of time I spend in the gym, but trust me when I say no amount of muscle will ever compensate for the damage that hairloss in your 20's does to your confidence.

It is my honest belief that the MOST important thing in the universe is a person's confidence, and mine was genetically stripped from me.  I had to find out from some of my acquaintances in the military while I was training for a deployment.  After I got back home from that deployment, I started looking at pictures from a couple years back and noticed evidence of it happening when I was 20, and possibly when I was 19.  Of course when I talked to my parents about it, they said they noticed it happening years ago when I was 20, but didn't say anything because they didn't want me to worry.  You have no idea how pissed I was.  I wanted to scream at them for not telling me, because sure I would've been worried at first, but I could've gotten on rogaine or something and at least held onto what I had for a few more years.  At the time that they noticed, it wouldn't have been a big deal to only have lost as little as I had.  But by the time I knew about it, I had lost enough that it was pointless to try to hold onto it.  I would've been holding onto a clearly balding head.

I wish I had seen this thread when I first found out so that I could yell at you to tell him ASAP!.  Hurt his feelings now, but save the rest of his 20's.  Especially since he started going bald in the back, that's like best case scenario.  I could've easily lived with that in my 20's.  I got the "old man" pattern the rest of my dad's family has, where they all started going bald in the front first, the ones who went bald anyway.  Which I'd say is around 60-70% of the males in my dad's family.

I know they say that baldness is supposedly passed on by the mother, but there's not a single person on my mom's side of the family who EVER went bald...EVER!...until me.  My mom's father died in his late 70's with a full head of grey hair.  Not a single hair missing from his head.  And there's not a male alive on my mom's side who's lost a hair yet.  Meanwhile, well over half of my dad's family went bald at some point.  And all had the exact same pattern.  The only difference with me is that I started younger than any of them.  It's because of this that I don't dare have children.  I love my kids too much to have them.  Putting them or any potential grandkids through this would be the only thing worse than me going through this.  And believe me, I mentally curse my parents, awesome as they are, for putting me through this.  I'd literally rather not have been born.

Now that I'm 27, it doesn't bother me AS much, but it still bothers me to some extent, and it bothers me even more that it stole the best years of my life and forced me to make the decision to give up the thing I wanted most, which was to eventually have my own children.

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## dmeyer8

Please just encourage him to be confident with it. Hair loss is normal and Hair Transplants leave scars that he will later regret. When he reaches 40 he will love having the Bruce Willis look. The hair transplant will create something he has to chase the rest of his life and will force him to wear long hair in the back to cover the scars. This will defeat the whole purpose of a transplant. I made the mistake and I don'
t want to see another young guy do the same thing. Love him and accept him the way he is. Teach him to love himself as well the way he is. Believe me. He will be happier in the long run.

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## lexer

First off, for you to be mad at your husband for passing the gene says a lot about your charactor or lack of. I feel bad for your husband. Perhaps your side of the family has some sort of cancer gene that could be passed and lets see if your husband blames you for that. You are extremely shallow and probably very lucky you even have a husband.

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## lexer

> Please just encourage him to be confident with it. Hair loss is normal and Hair Transplants leave scars that he will later regret. When he reaches 40 he will love having the Bruce Willis look. The hair transplant will create something he has to chase the rest of his life and will force him to wear long hair in the back to cover the scars. This will defeat the whole purpose of a transplant. I made the mistake and I don'
> t want to see another young guy do the same thing. Love him and accept him the way he is. Teach him to love himself as well the way he is. Believe me. He will be happier in the long run.


 Thats a rather silly and untrue post considering FUE transplantation is the new standard which doesnt leave scarring.

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## dmeyer8

I really think teaching him to accept it and that nothing is wrong is the best approach. Lots of great looking bald guys out there. Bruce Willis? If he has a hair transplant he will chase hair forever and be forced to have longer hair in the back to cover the scar. Wish someone would have advised me this way years ago.

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## pajason

> Please just encourage him to be confident with it. Hair loss is normal and Hair Transplants leave scars that he will later regret. When he reaches 40 he will love having the Bruce Willis look. The hair transplant will create something he has to chase the rest of his life and will force him to wear long hair in the back to cover the scars. This will defeat the whole purpose of a transplant. I made the mistake and I don'
> t want to see another young guy do the same thing. Love him and accept him the way he is. Teach him to love himself as well the way he is. Believe me. He will be happier in the long run.


 Agree completely as I did the samething.

A hair transplant will never give you your hair back the best ones wI'll can come close with good donor and unlimited resources.  Also fue if it goes well will allow you to use a 1 guard but not shave completely and not many people have enough  donor to get by with fue only if they are a high Norwood

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## Geo88

Most women don't like balding men that do not do something about it. Shave your head, instead of growing it out because nothing looks worse than thinning long hair

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## pajason

> I see this thread was started almost exactly at the same time that I first started noticing I was going bald.  Trust me, I understand the "anger" at your husband for passing this down to your son.  The part about going bald early is what started me down the path of thinking that I want to avoid having biological children.  I was 22 when I found out and trust me, going bald THAT early definitely ruins what are supposed to be the best years of your life, and I could never knowingly put my son/grandson through something like that.  Of course, now there are other genetic things I don't want to pass on, but none of them are health related, all cosmetic.  All things considered, I'm not a bad looking guy, especially with the amount of time I spend in the gym, but trust me when I say no amount of muscle will ever compensate for the damage that hairloss in your 20's does to your confidence.
> 
> It is my honest belief that the MOST important thing in the universe is a person's confidence, and mine was genetically stripped from me.  I had to find out from some of my acquaintances in the military while I was training for a deployment.  After I got back home from that deployment, I started looking at pictures from a couple years back and noticed evidence of it happening when I was 20, and possibly when I was 19.  Of course when I talked to my parents about it, they said they noticed it happening years ago when I was 20, but didn't say anything because they didn't want me to worry.  You have no idea how pissed I was.  I wanted to scream at them for not telling me, because sure I would've been worried at first, but I could've gotten on rogaine or something and at least held onto what I had for a few more years.  At the time that they noticed, it wouldn't have been a big deal to only have lost as little as I had.  But by the time I knew about it, I had lost enough that it was pointless to try to hold onto it.  I would've been holding onto a clearly balding head.
> 
> I wish I had seen this thread when I first found out so that I could yell at you to tell him ASAP!.  Hurt his feelings now, but save the rest of his 20's.  Especially since he started going bald in the back, that's like best case scenario.  I could've easily lived with that in my 20's.  I got the "old man" pattern the rest of my dad's family has, where they all started going bald in the front first, the ones who went bald anyway.  Which I'd say is around 60-70% of the males in my dad's family.
> 
> I know they say that baldness is supposedly passed on by the mother, but there's not a single person on my mom's side of the family who EVER went bald...EVER!...until me.  My mom's father died in his late 70's with a full head of grey hair.  Not a single hair missing from his head.  And there's not a male alive on my mom's side who's lost a hair yet.  Meanwhile, well over half of my dad's family went bald at some point.  And all had the exact same pattern.  The only difference with me is that I started younger than any of them.  It's because of this that I don't dare have children.  I love my kids too much to have them.  Putting them or any potential grandkids through this would be the only thing worse than me going through this.  And believe me, I mentally curse my parents, awesome as they are, for putting me through this.  I'd literally rather not have been born.
> 
> Now that I'm 27, it doesn't bother me AS much, but it still bothers me to some extent, and it bothers me even more that it stole the best years of my life and forced me to make the decision to give up the thing I wanted most, which was to eventually have my own children.


 Seek help immediately.  Anyone who won't have children because of passing along the gene has way to high of opinion of hair.

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## Ahab

So your ex-wife sees your balding brother frequently but doesn't notice him.   If your brother was Brad Pitt, how much you wanna bet she'd notice him?

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## Ahab

You go seek help.  I'm past retirement age.  And I'm proud of the fact that I have done my part in removing premature baldness from the gene pool by having had no children.  I believe premature baldness should be considered a birth defect and that parents should have the right to abort.  But I am Ahab, and baldness is my White Whale.

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## Geo88

By the time your kids reach that age there will be no such thing as baldness.  Don't be a moron. Hair isnt that important, you need mental help

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