# Men's Hair Loss > Coping with Hair Loss in Everyday Life >  Need Support

## Karlton

Hey guys,
 I was just hoping to get some support today. I have been managing my hair loss with finasteride for 12-13 years, but I'm feeling severe anxiety about it's effectiveness wearing off. I tried the buzz cut thing and it's not working for me. I tried a #2 buzz, a #1 , nothing is looking right. 

I am pretty much paralyzed with fear and anxiety, and now I am regretting my latest buzz cut. I talked to my psychologist, and it's the same old thing. I fear I'm heading to a really dark place. I have spent the last week in bed, or staring in the mirror. Nothing seems to help. 

I'm seriously considering scheduling my first FUE, but I am terrified of accelerating my hairloss, and also very apprehensive about setting myself up for having to get future transplants. I haven't lost a ton of hair yet, but my forehead is really big, so I'm already starting to look like a NW3. I'm thinking maybe 1000-1200 grafts would flatten out my hair line and buy some time, but I'm always on the fence.  

I'm filled with fear over dealing with friends and family with this buzz cut, but even with my hair, I am not much better. Need some helpful words today. I'm feeling really hopeless now that the shaved head thing didn't work out. It's looking more and more like a life of hats. I don't want to wear a hat, but I honestly feel like my head just doesn't look even remotely typical without hair. 

Thanks for taking the time to read.

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## 35YrsAfter

> Hey guys,
>  I was just hoping to get some support today. I have been managing my hair loss with finasteride for 12-13 years, but I'm feeling severe anxiety about it's effectiveness wearing off. I tried the buzz cut thing and it's not working for me. I tried a #2 buzz, a #1 , nothing is looking right. 
> 
> I am pretty much paralyzed with fear and anxiety, and now I am regretting my latest buzz cut. I talked to my psychologist, and it's the same old thing. I fear I'm heading to a really dark place. I have spent the last week in bed, or staring in the mirror. Nothing seems to help. 
> 
> I'm seriously considering scheduling my first FUE, but I am terrified of accelerating my hairloss, and also very apprehensive about setting myself up for having to get future transplants. I haven't lost a ton of hair yet, but my forehead is really big, so I'm already starting to look like a NW3. I'm thinking maybe 1000-1200 grafts would flatten out my hair line and buy some time, but I'm always on the fence.  
> 
> I'm filled with fear over dealing with friends and family with this buzz cut, but even with my hair, I am not much better. Need some helpful words today. I'm feeling really hopeless now that the shaved head thing didn't work out. It's looking more and more like a life of hats. I don't want to wear a hat, but I honestly feel like my head just doesn't look even remotely typical without hair. 
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read.


 Working at Dr. Cole's office, I sometimes meet men who are hypercritical of themselves.  They often see things about themselves in an exaggerated way that others don't see, or if they did see, they wouldn't think it's any big deal.  It is healthy to want to look our best though, but that needs to be kept in perspective.  What is your age?  What does your family history of hair loss look like?  Do you take finasteride?  Do you use Rogaine?

35YrsAfter also posts as CITNews and works at Dr. Cole's office
forhair.com
Cole Hair Transplant
1070 Powers Place
Alpharetta, Georgia 30009
Phone 678-566-1011
email 35YrsAfter at chuck@forhair.com
The contents of my posts are my opinions and not medical advice
Please feel free to call or email me with any questions. Ask for Chuck

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## topcat

Karlton you are a good example of someone who should not pursue hair transplantation. If having a bad haircut leaves you paralyzed with fear and anxiety a hair transplant can easily multiply that same feeling by a factor of 100 or more. Any ethical clinic reading what you have written would probably advise you to wait until you can get a handle on what you are feeling about hair loss through cognitive therapy or counseling as you already seem to be involved with as stated in your post.

Hair transplantation is best pursued by those with very modest expectations where a small improvement is appreciated.

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## Karlton

> Working at Dr. Cole's office, I sometimes meet men who are hypercritical of themselves.  They often see things about themselves in an exaggerated way that others don't see, or if they did see, they wouldn't think it's any big deal.  It is healthy to want to look our best though, but that needs to be kept in perspective.  What is your age?  What does your family history of hair loss look like?  Do you take finasteride?  Do you use Rogaine?
> 
> 35YrsAfter also posts as CITNews and works at Dr. Cole's office
> forhair.com
> Cole Hair Transplant
> 1070 Powers Place
> Alpharetta, Georgia 30009
> Phone 678-566-1011
> email 35YrsAfter at chuck@forhair.com
> ...


 
I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I have been on finasteride for roughly 12-13 years. I started receding in the front when I was 20ish. I jumped on finasteride when I was 22 I believe. I am now 36, and my hairline has moved back probably 3/8" to 1/2" at the temples and a little bit in the middle, over the span of 13 years. All in all, I'm doing fairly well considering my father(60) is almost completely bald, and my brother is receding much worse and thinning all over. I have a big forehead though, so it looks worse than most guys

Unfortunately I have the largest head in my family, and of all my friends, for that matter. I was in the military, and guys did not hold back about letting me know. I also have a very pointy skull, with a wishbone shaped protrusion on top. It is literally misshapen by most peoples standards. 

The hairline seems to be creeping back, _very_ slowly. The right side has always seemed to be ahead of the left. It is becoming really hard to style my hair so it covers my right temple. I feel like it's just a matter of time before the top of my head is revealed, which is why I want to get as much info as I can about surgical restoration. If it wasn't for the shape of my head, I would have kept the buzz cut from day one.

My biggest issue I guess would be the uncertainty of how long the finasteride will keep things intact after having a transplant. I know that hair loss is unpredictable, but I just wonder- if the finasteride has held back the diffuse thinning, and kept the recession at a crawl, is the consensus among doctors that it is safe to put all faith in the medication and go ahead with a procedure? Should I wait as long as possible, or is it reasonable to start thinking about restoring some of what I lost, given my history with finasteride?

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## Karlton

> Karlton you are a good example of someone who should not pursue hair transplantation. If having a bad haircut leaves you paralyzed with fear and anxiety a hair transplant can easily multiply that same feeling by a factor of 100 or more. Any ethical clinic reading what you have written would probably advise you to wait until you can get a handle on what you are feeling about hair loss through cognitive therapy or counseling as you already seem to be involved with as stated in your post.
> 
> Hair transplantation is best pursued by those with very modest expectations where a small improvement is appreciated.


 Thanks for responding- 
 I can appreciate what you're saying, but I have to look at some options for the future. I have a really big, misshapen head, and I don't think the bald / shaven look is going to be an option. I am just not equipped to go through life without some coverage on top. I do understand that getting surgical restoration should be put off as long as possible, but I think I am heading that direction. I just can't seem to stop obsessing over it lately, and there's that voice that says "go for it." 

My question to you is, how long should someone wait before considering surgery. Should everyone wait until they are completely bald before pulling the trigger? If I've been on fin for 12-13 years, what is the consensus among doctors as to how future hair loss will progress after an HT?

Thanks

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## topcat

Karlton its best to work on you anxiety issues first and in the mean time learn more about what a hair transplant can and cant do.

Might be a better idea to just stick with that buzz cut and no hat and get use to what you are feeling. Go out and be with people..endure it and with time it will go away but that happens only if you go through it.then maybe step it up in  year and shave your head completely then endure whatever feelings that brings you.in time that too usually goes away. Just a suggestion as once you are in a stronger place you can make a better decision regarding hair transplantation and realistic expectations are more easily accepted.

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## jlac85

Hi. 

I am going through the same thing as you. I have a very large protruding forehead, and have started to receed. I always covered my forehead with a fringe and since I got my haircut short I have had pretty intense anxiety and depression. I don't like how I look at all and feel it will get worse as my hair receeds.

I have been thinking the transplant route as well. But to be honest, I am going to work through my issues first.

Ideally,  I would like to be able to say "**** you if you don't like my forehead!"
Hopefully one day soon I will. 

Hopefully you will be able to do the same!

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