# Women's Hair Loss > Introduce Yourself & Share Your Story >  Coping with depression

## facingthetruth

This is a long 'story', so here goes!

Hi, I'm 19 this year and I have been living with hairloss ever since I was 13. As a girl, this is reaaaaaalllllyyy demoralising, and I have extremely low-self esteem, though I have quite a social life  :Stick Out Tongue: . My very thin hair I feel can be a major hindrance to how I feel about myself. It is just that one stubborn obstacle, that prevents me from being my best among people.

IT started off as just really subtle thinning, so I didn't take much notice. But things got worst as puberty progressed. As I tied my hair up everyday for school, a bald patch became more noticeable. It came to a point where a teacher told me in class infront of all my classmates, "I think your hair is falling out too much." 

I was devasted. I used to be defensive when someone asked me about my hair -or severe lack of it rather- but now I've learnt to just keep silent. It doesn't help to get testy. I won't say I've come to accept this atrocity. In fact, I am getting very depressed about it. I cry my eyes out sometimes because I find it unfair. Whenever I'm in the public eye, I find that I constantly pray or hope that people look past the baldness, and see me for who I am. I have never really talked about this with anyone, even if they've noticed the thinning or not. It's just a dilemma that I figure I have to get past by myself.

I'd like to say that I've been to many doctors and tried many different solutions to the hair loss problem, but I haven't. The main issue now is money as well. My family's in a hell lot of debt thanks to a member's excessive spending, and the only thing I've ever managed to try is a cheap bottle of topical elixir that obviously didn't work.

Recently, I've been contemplating shaving all the hair off, and buying a wig. I cannot accept myself totally bald in public yet. I feel like shaving this very instant as I type, but I will probably have to wait till early next year where I can start working part-time, to get a high quality wig.

In any case, can anyone tell me of good quality wigs that can even withstand activities like swimming in the sea? I am quite an active person. I read of lace wigs and things like that, are they strong enough? Are there any super-wigs that last for a life-time?

Also, how do I take care of a weak scalp?

Thank you very much, and to be honest, it felt kinda good to write it all out.

 :Big Grin:

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## SpencerKobren

Hi facingthetruth,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story. Its about 1am here in LA so Im a little too tired to give you the response that I think you deserve, but I wanted to welcome you and let you know that you've found a safe place.  Ill touch base in the morning.

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## nesdamycart

Hi facingthetruth,

Welcome and thanks for sharing.  I wanted to let you know that I also used to avoid eye contact with people, get defensive whenever I even thought someone was looking at my thin hair, and shove hats on my head any chance I got.  I lived an active life, but it started to suffer because I was afraid of people noticing.  But the biggest thing I did for myself was just talk to people about it - they either said nice things like it wasn't that noticeable, or if they didn't shrug it off, they were very supportive and sympathetic.  And once I didn't have to wonder if they were noticing my hair, I stopped worrying about it.  Be honest with people - if they mention it, use that chance to tell them how it makes you feel, it helps to talk about it!  

I don't know much about wigs, but since my hair started thinning, I finally let go of my usual styles - ponytails, etc.  I keep my hair cut shorter (above my shoulders) and get a good colour frequently - I find the dye thickens the hair, not to mention turns my scalp slightly darker, which makes the contrast less noticeable.  I get it dyed several shades lighter than my real colour (dark brown) and have blonde and light brown highlights - all that makes the thinness much less noticeable.  It feels great not to worry about it every second.  Think of your hair in a positive way:  not "thin", but "baby-fine".  SMILE.  Many people miss your hair completely, if you're smiling.  One friend of mine has hair MUCH thinner than mine - bald spots and all...but she dyes it very light blonde, and keeps it nice and short and layered - my boyfriend says he's honestly never even noticed that she has a problem - she's very outgoing and friendly.  I hope that helps even a little - keep your chin up!!

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## caresabouthairs

I really feel for you.  People are cruel, and what they say hurts.  Even for us guys...who are the normal bald ones...it really hits a nerve.  You don't feel like yourself and your self esteem drops to the floor.


My hairline started receading fastly when I was about 19 or 20..and my best friend and girlfriend...constantly pointed it out.  It made me feel like less of a human.  I shaved my head...and as much as I wanted to look good like that..I didn't.  I remember someone saying I looked like a ugly dog.  Ouch.


I can't even imagine being a woman with hair loss.  I hope you find a good wig and can get back to living.


It may just be my opinion, but I think it is more acceptable for women to wear wigs than for a man.  People are more understanding for woman.  

I'm not sure if you suffer from any disease which has caused this hair loss, but most compasionate people are understanding of it, and wouldn't think less of you for wearing a wig.


Good luck and take care

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## cadz

I'm 19 as well and I started balding at 17. Pattern alopecia. In the beginning it ruined me. Took me to the lowest place in my life. Although now I'm thankful because with will power anything is achieved. Looks and appearances used to drive my ambition, now I'm very different. Anyway just thought I share that :P for some apparent reason. Since iv been looking for my hair back I've found peace of mind in non-surgical hair replacement. Hollywood hair is a great place for wigs that are totally undetectable and durable. Also Virtual Reality hair I've heard is also a great place to look. Anyway yeah. probably fair expensive but the reward is far greater than the work that is done saving for the system.  :Big Grin:  if you want to talk im on www.facebook.com/4cadz

btw the really good hair systems, even if people find out your wearing it, it wont matter. It will stay in their brain for about 30 seconds. then because the piece is so good they will overlook it anyway. It is all about personality  :Big Grin:

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## KeepTheHair

^uh...


A hairpiece is definitely not an option for me. Fake hair...is fake hair.

I know it's not that much different than girls putting on tons of makeup and using extensions and stuff but seriously a male or female with a wig is just not that great.

The moment someone discovers it or realizes you have one on will be too embarrassing.

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## cadz

^ nah youll find people don't really care, as long as your comfortable with yourself its fine. when I get one I'm going to tell people..  :Cool:

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