# Other Discussions > Off Topic Discussions >  My friend's girlfriend/fiance

## FlightTL

Okay...

So, my friend for a long time and I were talking...

He(full head of hair) has been with his girlfriend(who is now his fiance) for 10 years now. They are both 27. They met in high school and started dating, fell in love, and are now engaged.

He shared some really messed up things with me the other day:
They are both strong-faithed Christians which is cool. But here is where it gets strange--->
He told me that she is still a virgin, and she is waiting till marriage. He even told me that she never gets naked in front of him, and the most he has ever been able to do is kiss her, and at times, she allows him to french kiss her. 
He said she never lets his hand go down there, and that she's always had her clothes on, and that is the most he's been able to do is sqeeze her butt with clothes on. He wasn't even allowed to touch her breasts with clothes on...

He told me that she said that she would give ALL of herself to him on their wedding night. But before marriage, all she gave him were kisses with clothes on....He told me she never has even dated any other guy or wanted to be with another guy.


In my opinion, that is just crazy... who lives like that now adays!.. I mean come on, this is the 21st century. 

Plus he told me he got REALLY frustrated for years, and that he at one point even thought of dumping her. But he told me he realized that she was the love of his life..and that even though he was frustrated, he waited, and that he is a virgin too.

Get this: She doesn't even let him sleep in the same bed at night, even with clothes on. Her motto is she can't do that before marriage. 



All this was TOO much for me to handle....This is just crazy...how do people live like that???!!!, especially is the modern age of today...

This is tooo much for me to handle...

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## baldybald

Muslims live like that.
am a Muslim and we say that we do not want to have a sex until we make sure that we get married, not even a kiss ! So this is not strange.
Most of time we make an earnest relationships. so i think she is doing the right thing :Smile:

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## BGP

It's quite messed up without a doubt. This is what dogma and subscribing to fairy tales does to some people.

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## Benzzro

> Muslims live like that.
> am a Muslim and we say that we do not want to have a sex until we make sure that we get married, not even a kiss ! So this is not strange.
> Most of time we make an earnest relationships. so i think she is doing the right thing


 No she's not, I've heard of many cases like this that falls apart because after marriage they find out they're not sexually attracted to each other and it falls apart.

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## ThinningB420

1.) How is this related to hair loss? This should be off topic.
2.) This isn't strange, this is ideally how couples should act before marrying. As Highlander said, the divorce rate is significantly lower for those who abstained from sex prior to marriage. This is because the people marry for the right reasons and truly love each other because they are willing to sacrifice and then finally give themselves completely to each other after being self controlled.

Those that work harder at disciplining themselves sexually most likely will discipline themselves in all aspects of life. That doesn't mean they can't have fun, but they will be less likely to live life based on the passions and will be more stable and rational individuals. That makes a relationship much easier to maintain.

There are many more reasons why chastity is good but the last one I want to mention is that those who do it for religious reasons do it for love of God, their future spouse, and lastly themselves. If more people were less focused on themselves and more focused on the other person in the relationship we wouldn't have nearly as many divorces. I won't discuss the loving God part and its benefits since that is a much bigger topic.





> The reason this is weird is because:
> - Cohabitation without marriage (and sex) is highly frowned upon by Christians, but they're doing it
> - Waiting ten years to get married (should've known after 1-2)
> - No french kissing
> - No touching
> 
> It's their personal situation that's weird, not abstinence. And living in the 21st century means nothing. Morality is objective.


 I agree with this but it is vague if they are cohabiting.

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## FlightTL

They live separately. She still lives with her parents. And yeah, he told me she allows him to French her from time to time.


Still though, I just do not understand all this chastity, morality, and waiting stuff....I apologize.

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## BigThinker

I would have dropped that woman so fast.  He's going to wife her up and she's going to subject him to her ridiculous religious agendas.  Further, their poor kids' minds are going to be poisoned by religion, and they'll probably waste away the best years of their life not getting intimate.

I do think it's quite an anomaly for a girl to hold out for 10 years.  Most girls who acted hyper-religious were secretly the freaks in my experience.

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## Exodus

Agreed, I remember one girl saying she loved me, but couldn't go out with me based on my 'non-christian beliefs'. 

By right Im a buddhist...perhaps my hairloss is a sign from the large man himself...

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## BigThinker

> Agreed, I remember one girl saying she loved me, but couldn't go out with me based on my 'non-christian beliefs'. 
> 
> By right Im a buddhist...perhaps my hairloss is a sign from the large man himself...


 Ha ha ha ha.  Right? Because we all know Christians got it right and every other religion around the world got it wrong.  The bible says so!

I remember back in my more ambitious/younger days, if you insinuated you were willing to be very discrete, you could tap into the vein of  conservative, pretentious, religious girls.

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## dex89

This is ****ing insane!?  Hope she is well worth the wait because I wouldn't be able to wait. I'll be masturbating or having another girl on the side. Just imagine the sex life already, once a week?? Jesus Christ oh mighty, do I feel sorry for your boy. :Frown:

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## carl1983

The ten year wait thing is all that's really odd about this. Normally these types are glued to the alter at 20.
If this type of relationship were universally practiced, we'd wipe out STD's in about two generations, so I'm not necessarily knocking it....that being said, I wouldn't be hanging around for a decade to get laid.
I fully expect your buddy to break the news about his bit on the side during your next heart to heart.

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## Joe Diego

The dude is probably lying.

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## baldozer

That is a perfect girl, as she would be loyal to her husband and wouldn't think about cheating like most of the other women. Its a fault of the western society to allow too much sexual freedom to women. Such freedom only favors women, as it is very easy for women to get sex with whomever they want, while men are stuck in an endless competition, wasting their time in chasing sluts. I bet women wouldn't be very happy if the same kind of sexual freedom was given to men, in the form of prostitution!

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## Shan

i wish my sister in law was a bit of a slut. but she was a virgin before marriage and is happily married 15 years on

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