# Men's Hair Loss > Coping with Hair Loss in Everyday Life >  Is it lying? Or what?

## redy

My hair is very naturally textured and easily manageable into a shaggy looking style with some length to it - which is what I am doing ever since I really noticed my hair loss.
I'm pushing my hair forward and using a blow-dryer to add volume and cover the recession and thinning of my hairline, while covering some of my forehead as well. Hopefully eventually with treatment it either thickens up to the point I don't have to do this anymore, as I'm not covering any slick-bald areas or anything... or I just cut it all off and live with it. But right now I would go from someone with maybe a recessing hairline but still healthy looking hair to a early balding young guy if I buzzed it all off.
It looks like a haircut, just a little bit indie looking some days if it is a little messier than normal. It looks like crap if it's not styled well and dried because of the thinning of the hairline, though. And I don't really let anyone touch my hair ever, hate windy days, and won't enter the visible world without properly showering and styling it.

I know if people were to see what it looked like before/without all of that, it would be obvious that I am/have losing/lost dents in hairline, though.

Like I just realized that when looking at some recent pictures of me, my hair looks pretty good at a lot of angles, and just looks like I have a high forehead, which I have.. But I know it's not really true. I feel like I look like I'm not, but I do look like that when it's styled.. so.. 

Is there a point where you're just being.. dishonest? or is that not even really a thing, it's just how your style your hair? Maximizing what you have to look the best? I feel like I'm maintaining an image for myself and for other people. But.. doesn't everyone do that regardless of if it's hair or makeup or clothing or whatever.. I'm trying to feel this out.

Thanks again guys.

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## ppxrare

you just described my situation exactly with the shaggy hair look to hide the diffused thinning. I actually just bought some hairspray yesterday and tried it out because the wind was killing me. My hair would be all over the place when its windy and I have to go the bathroom every 30 mins to fix it up in univ.

     As for the hairspray, I don't think im going to like it  :Frown:  it felt a bit heavy on my hair and made it kinda flatter and the texture is horrible just like gel. perhaps ill spray it at the middle and end of my hair and leave the front as is. (hairspray called cliven)

      I guess Im going to try blowdrying my hair after a shower to see if that adds a good amount of volume and if that doesnt do it then Ill buy an expensive volumizer and blow dry also

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## NotBelievingIt

I think there is a point where its being "dishonest" -- but I think that comes down to the extent of your loss as well as your own attitude.

I do an ever so slight comb-forward come sideways kind of thing with the way my hair naturally falls and when my hair is on the longer side, it masks the thinning recession pretty well.

I'm not trying to hide it, but at the same time, I am.  I acknowledge it won't fool those who care to look.

But at the same time, I get my hair cut shorter and its impossible to do the same trick to the same levels, and I don't care.

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## BigThinker

Why would you go through that much work for your hair so you can constantly think about whether it's out of place. 

Just get an aggressive cut at the barber shop, slick that shit back, and be who you are.  That's what I do with my NW2.5 bro.

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## 35YrsAfter

> My hair is very naturally textured and easily manageable into a shaggy looking style with some length to it - which is what I am doing ever since I really noticed my hair loss.
> I'm pushing my hair forward and using a blow-dryer to add volume and cover the recession and thinning of my hairline, while covering some of my forehead as well. 
> 
> Is there a point where you're just being.. dishonest? or is that not even really a thing, it's just how your style your hair? Maximizing what you have to look the best? I feel like I'm maintaining an image for myself and for other people. But.. doesn't everyone do that regardless of if it's hair or makeup or clothing or whatever.. I'm trying to feel this out.
> 
> Thanks again guys.


 We see a lot of similar hair at Dr. Cole's.  It don't remember thinking their hair appeared unnatural or dishonest. Sometimes we'll see a patient that looks like he has a full head of hair before we pull it back for photos.

35YrsAfter also posts as CITNews and works at Dr. Cole's office
forhair.com
Cole Hair Transplant
1070 Powers Place
Alpharetta, Georgia 30009
Phone 678-566-1011
email 35YrsAfter at chuck@forhair.com
The contents of my posts are my opinions and not medical advice
Please feel free to call or email me with any questions. Ask for Chuck

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## 35YrsAfter

> We see a lot of similar hair at Dr. Cole's.


 Here is an example of a patient who had very little hair in the front.  He didn't have much thinning on top so when he combed his hair forward, his frontal loss wasn't very noticeable.  He has had two procedures since the left and middle photos were taken.  His most recent procedure was in July of 2013. 

35YrsAfter also posts as CITNews and works at Dr. Cole's office
forhair.com
Cole Hair Transplant
1070 Powers Place
Alpharetta, Georgia 30009
Phone 678-566-1011
email 35YrsAfter at chuck@forhair.com
The contents of my posts are my opinions and not medical advice
Please feel free to call or email me with any questions. Ask for Chuck

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## 25 going on 65

> Is there a point where you're just being.. dishonest?


 Like people using flattering clothes, high heels, makeup, plastic surgery, acne medicine, spray tans, hair dye, steroids, braces, colored contact lenses?
EVERYONE is doing something to look better, do not put yourself @ a disadvantage. If you did not style your hair in the most flattering way possible you would be a fool.

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## AfterHair

It is not dishonest to look your most flattering. It is dishonest if you are fooling yourself into thinking this is the best you can do if it is not. For a while I was being dishonest with myself by putting a bunch of concealer in my hair when my hair was at its thinnents, fooling myself into thinking it looks fine.. when it was so obvious that my hairloss is very bad and that I am putting concealer in it.. An interviewer could not stop looking at my forehead and hair when I was interviewing at a law firm. It was so embarrassing. That was one of the things that made me realize that I was being dishonest with myself, allowing myself to believe that this is the best my hair could look. A little while later I looked into HT and am so happy I did.

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## beetee

I think this is an interesting question. I am a diffuse thinner and I think this question is one that is particularly applicable to diffuse thinners, as with this type of hair loss one frequently has the ability to maintain hairstyles that can almost completely mask (at least under certain conditions) hair loss even though it might be fairly significant. 

So to the question (or two questions): Is it cheating? No. Would some people who are eager to look down on others think it's cheating? Yes. 

As many have mentioned on here, there is no shame in putting your best foot forward, whether it comes to how you dress or how you style your hair (with or without thinning hair). If you see pictures from the 18th and 19th centuries (or even up through the 1970s), many individuals kept styling their hair even though it was thinning. There didn't seem to be any social rule against doing so, and why should there be? I don't think there's anything wrong with any choice that someone makes in regards to their own appearance, for the fundamental reason it doesn't affect anyone else (so I include obvious toupees, whatever); but especially if it's your own hair, how could utilizing it in whatever way you want be a lie or be dishonest? It is your own hair, it is capable of being styled in whatever way you're styling it, so there's no dishonesty involved. If it looks good enough, someone could get the impression that you have very thick hair when you ultimately don't; but you never told them to think that, they drew their own conclusion. So if it's anything it's a learning opportunity for them, not everything is as it first appears (but that is of course an important general lesson and one not limited in its usefulness to assessing people's hair thickness). 

So we're left with this arbitrary, groundless, and relatively recent, amorphous social rule that implies that the first second you start to experience any hair loss or thinning you are supposed to shave it immediately, and if you don't you're somehow a liar. But escaping this criticism is almost impossible. I was watching the TV show "Lockup" and this one convict they were following had thinning hair and he kept it very short (short enough there could be no styling or concealing) and one of the other inmates yelled at him, "Shave your head, you're going bald!" But his head was already shaved (although not to the skin). So where does this line of thinking end? It's not enough to keep it very short and not conceal your hair loss at all; apparently you have to shave it to the skin, otherwise you're somehow guilty of "hiding" (even though you couldn't possibly be hiding anything when it's so short). The ultimate goal is for you to have it shaved to the skin, and then they'll just make fun of you for being bald!

So I say style away, grow whatever parts you want long, comb forward, sideways, whatever, make little trips to the bathroom to fix it up when necessary, appreciate and live it it up in those times that you are able to interact with others who have no idea your hair is thinning. Enjoy it now, because some day you won't be able to and it will be nice to know you got all the mileage out of it that you could when you still could. And to express it in language that is probably more often used by those who would make negative comments towards us based on our choice of hair styles, "F**k the haters." 

Oh, and I have found that wearing a hat is the only way to combat wind. It sucks, but whatever. Wear it to work and then fix it up in the bathroom.

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## dda

> I think this is an interesting question. I am a diffuse thinner and I think this question is one that is particularly applicable to diffuse thinners, as with this type of hair loss one frequently has the ability to maintain hairstyles that can almost completely mask (at least under certain conditions) hair loss even though it might be fairly significant. 
> 
> So to the question (or two questions): Is it cheating? No. Would some people who are eager to look down on others think it's cheating? Yes. 
> 
> As many have mentioned on here, there is no shame in putting your best foot forward, whether it comes to how you dress or how you style your hair (with or without thinning hair). If you see pictures from the 18th and 19th centuries (or even up through the 1970s), many individuals kept styling their hair even though it was thinning. There didn't seem to be any social rule against doing so, and why should there be? I don't think there's anything wrong with any choice that someone makes in regards to their own appearance, for the fundamental reason it doesn't affect anyone else (so I include obvious toupees, whatever); but especially if it's your own hair, how could utilizing it in whatever way you want be a lie or be dishonest? It is your own hair, it is capable of being styled in whatever way you're styling it, so there's no dishonesty involved. If it looks good enough, someone could get the impression that you have very thick hair when you ultimately don't; but you never told them to think that, they drew their own conclusion. So if it's anything it's a learning opportunity for them, not everything is as it first appears (but that is of course an important general lesson and one not limited in its usefulness to assessing people's hair thickness). 
> 
> So we're left with this arbitrary, groundless, and relatively recent, amorphous social rule that implies that the first second you start to experience any hair loss or thinning you are supposed to shave it immediately, and if you don't you're somehow a liar. But escaping this criticism is almost impossible. I was watching the TV show "Lockup" and this one convict they were following had thinning hair and he kept it very short (short enough there could be no styling or concealing) and one of the other inmates yelled at him, "Shave your head, you're going bald!" But his head was already shaved (although not to the skin). So where does this line of thinking end? It's not enough to keep it very short and not conceal your hair loss at all; apparently you have to shave it to the skin, otherwise you're somehow guilty of "hiding" (even though you couldn't possibly be hiding anything when it's so short). The ultimate goal is for you to have it shaved to the skin, and then they'll just make fun of you for being bald!
> 
> So I say style away, grow whatever parts you want long, comb forward, sideways, whatever, make little trips to the bathroom to fix it up when necessary, appreciate and live it it up in those times that you are able to interact with others who have no idea your hair is thinning. Enjoy it now, because some day you won't be able to and it will be nice to know you got all the mileage out of it that you could when you still could. And to express it in language that is probably more often used by those who would make negative comments towards us based on our choice of hair styles, "F**k the haters." 
> ...


 
Lol so you're saying possibly rock a comb over at some point? Lol na ill pass.. about three years I started using rogaine and thought about using fin.  I was at a nw3.  I used rogaine for a little over a year and it did shit.  The whole time using it I was obsessed about my hair.  Once I realized it wasn't working, I was pretty depressed.  Hell I'm still depressed at losing my hair( I'm sure many of us here are).  I buzzed my head at a number 2 during that time and now I lol down to a 1.  I was so concerned what people thought, but at some point over the past year I just stopped caring.. there really is nothing we can do.. Just shave it or buzz it close.. People will notice and look the other way and then of course some people are assholes and will make a remark.. But that's just them trying to feel better about themselves.  just buzz it really short and move on.  you'll thank yourself for keeping it close and feel way more free than having to constantly obsess and worry about if your styling came undone.  Just buzz it and rock that don't care attitude

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## beetee

> Lol so you're saying possibly rock a comb over at some point? Lol na ill pass.. about three years I started using rogaine and thought about using fin.  I was at a nw3.  I used rogaine for a little over a year and it did shit.  The whole time using it I was obsessed about my hair.  Once I realized it wasn't working, I was pretty depressed.  Hell I'm still depressed at losing my hair( I'm sure many of us here are).  I buzzed my head at a number 2 during that time and now I lol down to a 1.  I was so concerned what people thought, but at some point over the past year I just stopped caring.. there really is nothing we can do.. Just shave it or buzz it close.. People will notice and look the other way and then of course some people are assholes and will make a remark.. But that's just them trying to feel better about themselves.  just buzz it really short and move on.  you'll thank yourself for keeping it close and feel way more free than having to constantly obsess and worry about if your styling came undone.  Just buzz it and rock that don't care attitude


 Different strokes for different folks. If that solution works best for you, great. I'm just saying people should feel they have the freedom to do whatever they want with their hair, whether it's growing it out or cutting it off.

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